Knowing
by girl.of.horror
Summary: inoue muses on her husband's feelings,kurosaki ichigo,does he really love her...and not someone he hardly remembers?But what if what she feared will happen,does,will she fight,or let it all pass?What about Rukia,when she has someone she has to fight for?
1. knowing

**disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns Bleach and everything that happens in Bleach universe, i have nothing to do with whatsoever.

The author is a fan of ichiruki pairing, just in case.

* * *

**I. Knowing**

Raining again. She didn't know the reason why Ichigo sometimes disliked the rain. She didn't know the reason behind those feelings whenever she sees him look past the window and into the nothingness beyond, veiled by the rain. She, Orihime Inoue, had always loved him.

She remembers the days whenever she found his face funny because it was always set in a scowl. Remembers whenever the scowl deepened when he was set on doing something. Determined. His face would change, his lips pulled lower, purses, those eyebrows would furrow deeper and he would say something she always found so chivalric. Those days. Those days when she found herself falling in-love with him.

She was intelligent enough. She should have used her brains then.

She should have known.

Dinner was always the most anticipated event of her days now. She would prepare dinner with the finesse and veneer she always had with weird concoctions. She would mix this and that until it looked good enough to eat. But sometimes she could not stop herself from thinking as she looked at the vast array of ingredients she always had at hand.

She should have known.

There would be a conversation while eating. She would take the lead with her usual cheerfulness and he would comment on this and that. They would talk about his job, his day, her day, the weather…but never about the feelings.

She should have known.

Once,

…_a long silence passed between, the unanswered question echoing itself in her ears, a question she had put off long enough, 'Ichigo, do you love me?'_

…_his scowl deepens, and then softens as he probably thinks of the right reply, maybe he is still thinking of her whenever that question was asked…_

_And then his lips would be stretched to a fond smile, but she could clearly see the answers in his sad eyes, 'what have she done?', she thinks._

"_You're the best wife, Orihime-san."_

_That is the best answer he can only give to her._

Orihime-san, he still called her that way. They were husband and wife and he couldn't call her by her first name.

She calls him by her first name. They call each other first names. It hurts. But she still loves him.

The rain pours harder outside. Raindrops slamming against the windowpanes loudly. Her eyes stray to look at him.

He barely flinches at the sounds of the rain, but his scowl, no, his face, had grown darker.

But what memories does he have of the rain?

She hesitates to ask. Afraid to hurt him. She nevertheless opens her mouth and the question crosses the room. She barely hears it.

"I…I have sad memories of the rain, Inoue-san."

Inoue-san. If it was not Orihime-san, it would be Inoue-san. was this pain the price of calling him…hers? But he was not hers. He had never given her he part of him she always longed to call her own.

Sad memories. What are they to make you hate rain so much Ichigo?

She puts on a cheerful voice as she simply said,

"You could always talk to me Ichigo."

That familiar look of sadness and…and longing, appears in his scowling face. He does not answer, but simply nods his head as he tells her not to worry about him. But she worries, she worries that she had done something wrong. That she herself was not enough for someone like him. She understands him, but she does not know the right way to get to him.

She gets a sinking feeling in her stomach. She simply had no idea what to do to cheer him up.

How come it was always for her to bring himself back to pieces again? _'Kuchiki-san, please tell me.'_

It was useless to ask anyway, it hurts, but she thinks that she never would know the reasons why.

And the answer to her question.

It hurts.

* * *

Feel free to click that review button and write anything you like. This was written solely for the purpose of making it clear how important Rukia's place in Ichigo's life is. A portrayal of what ichigo's marriage would be with orihime. speculation posted again bcause first one didn't have disclaimer lolz.

Don't forget to flame. And review


	2. an open window

Being an ichiruki fan…do you think it's easy for me to write this? But of course…the end would justify the means right? –evil laugh in the background-

Ichihime fans can celebrate this chapter.

I think.

It was hard to write this…but read it slowly and wholly so that you can understand it, okay?

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

* * *

**II. An Open Window**

Waking up sometime between dawn and midnight was unsettling, especially when she saw the window open. She was worried that the cold would go inside the room and give Ichigo and her some runny noses and coughs which could end up into much more especially knowing that Ichigo could be just as stubborn as a four year-old in taking his medicine.

A cold draft wafted in. She looked at the clear skies visible through the window and noticed that it has stopped raining. She sighed, it was Ichigo's habit to open the window throughout the whole day, she was not averse to it, it was just that if no one was inside to mind the house, some burglars or worse, (maybe sumo wrestlers), might come in and invade their space. But that habit had lasted up until last year, although occasionally, he would leave the window open intentionally throughout the whole day if he was at home.

She always wondered why he insisted that it be kept open during rainy days, or rainy nights, she had asked him, but he gave her no clear answer, he even looked a little confused about why he did it.

Pushing those thoughts aside, and the queasy feeling she got when she remembered about someone, she looked at her husband for five years. Seeing his familiar face, she really had nothing to worry about; after all, they were married.

He moved and his arm landed right over her flat tummy. She smiled when she felt him move her closer to him, a little bit possessively, she liked to think. She complied and closed her eyes, so what if he insisted that the window be open for the whole day tomorrow? He had promised to take the day off from his job as a doctor; tomorrow was their anniversary…their sixth year as a married couple. Her lips tilted to resemble a small, real smile.

She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment, Ichigo's arm as her pillow, breathing the manly scent that was him.

Feeling Inoue shifting back to sleep again beside him, he cautiously opened his eyes, staring at her sleeping face. She looked innocent in sleep, and she was beautiful too, he knew that, yet, in all of it, something was missing.

Like the fact that he still called her Inoue-san or Orihime-san. Tomorrow he'll make her happy by calling her by her first name, simply Orihime. He knew she was sad about that. Fighting the urge to grin, he happened to glance at the open window, and felt the anticipation for tomorrow slip from him.

Orihime-sa-, he stopped to correct himself.

Orihime, once asked him why he liked to keep their bedroom window open. He had blinked at the mention of 'our bedroom', thinking that it was still his bedroom window, he felt guilty inside, even if Orihime hadn't known, he tried to appease himself to her. His mind had given no ready answer to that question, so he made one up. He can't remember the reason he had given her and tried to keep in mind to ignore the urge to keep the window closed. It had worked now, but his self-control always broke when it was raining.

Rainy nights like this, it was hard to sleep, his sleep was usually short, he always woke up any time. He couldn't understand it himself.

He doesn't care to understand it, it was troublesome, yes, but it was a routine that he had had since his hazy memories of his fifteenth year.

Stifling a yawn, he wondered, unconsciously, if Orihime once dyed her hair black and wore her hair in a style that her hair tapered from the crown of head to her neck. And were her eyes black? Yes, it's black…whatever made me think it was violet…

He fell to a deep sleep.

* * *

That was troubling, ne?


	3. by the bay

ichiori fans can continue to celebrate….

Fellow ichirukis…let's endure this for a little more…eh?

I'm really an ichiruki fan okay? I just don't know why I'm writing these kind of fic...wait I've got an idea why….

-goes to hide in a corner away from fellow ichiruki fans, and cries silently-

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**III. By The Bay**

Orihime let go of Ichigo's hands and run towards the shoreline as the scenic view of the ocean came into sight. She raised her hands and took a deep breath of the ocean breeze.

"Ichigo, walk faster or else you're not going to see the sunrise!"

She joyously shouted at the top of her lungs. What more can she ask except for a day with him at the beach?

She placed a hand over her eyes and scanned the horizon, following the path of cranes in a v-formation as it flew across the sky until they were gone from her sight.

It was still early enough that a few rays of the sun were still peeping from behind the clouds. In a moment, Ichigo was soon beside her.

"We came here a little too early." He remarked, glancing at his wristwatch.

"Oh no, Ichigo. We came at the right time", she grabbed his arm and pointed at the rising sun, "look, the sun's just about to rise. See?"

"Yes, I see it."

"Isn't it cute?"

"Cute? Yeah…"

That was Orihime, she could describe the rising of the sun as cute when it was beautiful for most people. And he didn't like 'most people'.

"_Hey, Ichigo, stop looking at me! I told you to look at the pictures you idiot!"_

He winced, feeling as if a swift punch to the jaw had just hit him.

"Ichigo", Orihime's voice, laced with worry, brought him back to earth, "are you okay?"

He felt disoriented, the question jumping around his mind, trying to look for its meaning.

"Ichigo?"

"D-don't worry. I'm fine." He smiled at her, but with a creased eyebrow, she turned back to the scene, leaning at him ever so slightly. He knew he hadn't convinced her, but what could he do? He was afraid to hurt her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was nearing noontime and it was becoming hot. The beach, which wasn't filled that morning except by themselves and some other couple who had spent their night in the resort's accommodations, was now brimming with people. Why did he convince himself this place wouldn't be filled with people?

Because the resort cost a lot, that was why.

Who would have thought quite a lot of people in Japan were rich enough that they could afford this place? There were foreigners, tourists by the look of them, some were teens, but most were families with their little children enjoying the beach.

And some were ogling his wife too as if he didn't exist and wasn't wrapping a possessive arm around her waist. He scowled at one of the teens who was watching her and, blushing, he turned to look at someone else. But they were still too many to deal with one at a time.

His scowl becoming darker than ever, they stopped at the open-air restaurant.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Setting down his cold drink on the able, she watched Orihime who was sitting in her chair facing the beach, sipping at her glass of lemonade once in a while.

An idea had entered his mind and he wasn't letting go of it. He knew that Orihime enjoyed the town where they were currently living in and she also loved her work as a preschool teacher but since it was summer, maybe she would agree.

"Orihime."

She placed her drink on her lap and looked at him inquiringly with her soft black eyes.

"Yes, Ichigo?"

"I was thinking…I like to go visit dad and my sisters back in Karakura, could we?"

She looked down at her lemonade. Seeing the bubbles float to the top, then burst. She never really wanted to go back to Karakura, ever. But his family was there, and she knew that he loved his family. It had also been a long time since she visited her brother's grave.

There was still that little doubt left in her heart if they should go back now to Karakura.

She turned to him, smiling.

"You really like to go back there for a visit?"

He raised a hand and it found a spot on his head to scratch, ruffling his spiky hair. She felt the urge to comb it.

"Well, I really miss my idiotic Dad, and Yuzu and Karin. It's been…let's say, almost three years since we last visited them right? I heard Karin already had a baby, and it's a boy. What do you think?"

She remained silent for a few more seconds…she really didn't like to go back to Karakura. She caressed the hairpin that held her bangs. Should she..?

"I don't know, Ichigo…"

"Well, then it's settled, isn't it? How about next year?"

Ichigo said with too much enthusiasm it was painstakingly obvious that he was faking it.

She felt Ichigo's disappointment as if it was her own. She closed her eyes.

"Could we…could we discuss this back home Ichigo?"

He looked at her, her eyes were closed. Damn his stupid, tactless mouth. Orihime didn't want to spoil this day and here he was spoiling it for her.

He sighed.

"Sure we will. Hey, Orihime, love," he ignored the painful twist his heart made when he said that last word, "bring your lemonade with you, I'm going to show you the Kurosaki way of enjoying the beach."

He stood up and grabbed her hand. She was then, laughingly, because she resisted every effort he made, dragged to the beach, her lemonade emptying itself drop by drop along the sand.

All was well again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Her short brown hair finally swept into a neat chignon, she busied herself into loading their things at the trunk of the car. It was then that she noticed that her little beloved monster was out of her sight.

Leaving her chore immediately, she straightened and was ready to make quick, fast steps to look for him when a tug on her skirt made her stop.

A pair of brown eyes looked at her green ones.

"Mumsie, I saw dad."

She was incredulous. His dad?

"How did you know?"

"He had orange hair like I."

Her eyes lingered unto the nine year-old's crop of bright orange hair.

"Are you sure?", doubt seeped into her own voice, and also a little bit of fear.

The kid looked down, his grip on her skirt loosened and finally his hand dropped to rest by his sides.

"No…."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh my…who are those people?

O.o

What do you think huh?!

hello to intercostalspace!

Review….review….review….please…


	4. a little coincidence

I'm sure everyone's noticed…I'm not anymore jackass.kit but gorgeous'moth…

Bwahahahahaha!!!! How do you like it? –goes away to own world-

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**IV. A Little Coincidence**

The time was late. Really late that he doubted Orihime would still be up and waiting for him. She was probably curled up in her cozy chair, sleeping, probably with a book open, the page dog-eared.

He turned off the engine, got his keys and went out of the car. He walked to the front door, opened it, and went inside. The living room was flooded with a soft yellow light that came from a lamp. In one side of the room was Orihime, just as he knew she would be. Curled up in her chair, sleeping with her mouth hanging open.

He placed his things on the nearest chair and gazed at his wife's sleeping face. He sighed, he was tired from that emergency operation he had just done, and it was nerve-wracking to say the least, but the old man was saved, and finally had his chances of living much greater than it had been.

He laid her slowly on their bed, careful not to wake her up. He loosened his tie, but he happened to glance at the window at just that moment, the great expanse of the night sky visible. And a great longing filled him. He was tired and sleepy, but he didn't feel like sleeping beside her yet.

He sat on the chair beside the window, the cool breeze gently lulling him to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Rukia?"

She looked across the elegant table to her brother.

"Yes, nii-sama?"

They were having their breakfast together, one of the few times they ever had, before going to Seireitei together.

Byakuya rested his eyes on his sister, feeling a bit worried and calmly contemplating her. He wasn't sure about his decision. But he was going to try it nonetheless, and he would tell her himself before anyone got the chance to do so.

"I…You have been reinstated to a mission in the Living World."

It was hard convincing Yamamoto to do that, but it wasn't so when he decided to finally add sake into his efforts. The finest sake of the Kuchiki family too.

"W-what?"

Her head shot up, he could see that she was surprised only for a second because worry soon replaced it. The fact that he barely heard her made him wince inside.

"You are going to be reinstated for a mission back to the living world, Rukia."

"But, nii-sama…I---"

"Pls. don't refuse Rukia. I was the one who recommended you."

She was silent for a moment, she was probably thinking about it. She can't refuse, not now; he couldn't bear to live with another Hisana again.

Her mouth opened and she spoke something, but he was too far away to make any sense of it. She cleared her throat.

"Where would it be, nii-sama?"

"Karakura."

Violet eyes widened at that one word.

"Karakura…? But he…he is living there and weren't I…?"

"He's not living there anymore. He has moved out of that city with no clear indication that he's returning back."

She nodded, suddenly looking paler than ever.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He woke up as soon as the sun's warmth hit his face. With his eyes barely opened , he rose out of the chair and went to the door. Noticing that the bed was tidied up, he knew that she was already awake.

As soon as the door opened, the scent of cooking assailed his senses. His stomach grumbled. Oh, yeah, he had forgotten to eat his dinner last night…

"Good morning, Ichigo!" a voice reached him from the kitchen.

Still groggy, he went straight to the kitchen and propped himself on a seat and placed his head on the table.

"That smells yummy." He remarked while stifling a yawn.

"Yup. It does, doesn't it?"

He lifted his head and glanced at the dishes she had just laid on the table. His jaw almost dropped to the floor. He better not look at it anymore. He was fully awake now. He looked at Orihime's cheerful face.

He better not ask what they were made of.

Orihime began putting large servings of it on his plate. He didn't mind tasting it.

"So…when do you like to go back?", Orihime asked him.

"To Karakura? Probably the week after next at the latest, or if the hospital's director could find me a replacement for a month by this week, probably next week."

An awkward silence filled the room.

"You sure you'll be okay here, alone?"

Ichigo asked her. She didn't, after all, say she would like to go with him.

"Um, yes, of course. I'd still have to help the other teachers prepare for the start of the new school year." She smiled, a very big contrast to what she was actually feeling.

'_Ichigo didn't ask me to go with him.'_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya called out to her before she proceeded to step out of that horse-driven carriage into the 13th division quarters.

"Byakuya nii-sama…?"

"Ukitake will probably tell you about your mission as soon as you arrive today. Rukia…"

"Yes?"

He looked at her. Should he tell her..?

"Nothing."

And she went out of the carriage.

"Wait, Rukia."

She turned her head to face him.

"When you arrive in the Living World, look for Yoruichi. She knows."

She opened her mouth to speak but he had already given the signal for the carriage to head off for the sixth division, and he left her standing there.

He just hoped that his decision wouldn't end up hurting all of them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kind of…confusing, is it not?

Hopefully…all of you can still bear it until when I decide to reveal those mysteries that I'm sure are piling one by one in your head right now…so…don't kill me yet.

REVIEW!


	5. co'accidents' not co'incidence'

Okey…I'm so into ichiruki right now with that chapter 285. One panel. That's all it took to launch me fangirling again. Waaaah!!!! Ichigo loves Rukia!!! Yipppeeee!!! I can't wait for 286! Finally! I dedicate this chapter to us my friends because I'm so happy right now!

-about that horse-driven carriage, I made it like that because how would a noble look traveling from his mansion using shunpo when he could afford those kind of luxury? And also I remember in one episode of bleach, when Rukia and Renji were kids, there was a shinigami who was riding one. But of course, Byakuya's would be more elegant-

That's all. And don't miss a single sentence. I'm warning you, or else you'll end up confused. Okay?

Please enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**V. Co-'accidents' not co-'incidence'**

He sat on his bed.

He can't go back to sleep. His head was aching like hell. It wasn't your normal headache or migraine, he had known many of those, it was more like a painful feeling of loss, as if he had found something but was---

He shook his aching head. Better not think of such things, it would serve to make his head ache more and God knows he didn't want it to. With the little light from the open window by his bedside, he looked at the time and saw that it was four something in the morning. Feeling fully awake, he rose and went out of his bed to the door. Pausing long enough to spare a glance at the empty closet and his luggage which contained a month long worth of clothes.

He went out of the room, and adjusted his eyes to the darkness before he dared to go down the stairs to go down the kitchen and fetch a glass of water. He was not thirsty; he just needed something to do.

He had arrived that morning, unannounced, but what a surprise that as soon as he was out of his car, he was greeted by a flying kick which he avoided but his car had not. His car window was smashed. He emptied his glass of water in one gulp and decided what he would do for the rest of his time since his father and Yuzu were still asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He shut the door firmly behind him. He had decided to simply take a walk through the town. It was small, compared to where he lived with Orihime, but it gave him a lot to think about especially the changes in the time he was gone, and honestly, he didn't know why he gets the feeling that Orihime doesn't like to go visit Karakura with him.

Shrugging it off, he started to walk onwards. He came by an old-looking, closed shop.

Urahara Shoten. He read the sign above the closed door. It was where children bought candies and he vaguely remembers this was where his sisters often bought theirs too. As far as he can remember, he had never even once, stepped in the store.

He slipped his hands into his pockets and continued walking. Passing by teenagers who were up to no good, he thought to himself. God forbid he had ever been like that in his youth. He passed a familiar lamppost. And he stopped.

He knew this place. This was where he had encountered the ghost of that little girl almost eleven years ago (1). Eleven years…he had never thought it had been that long. This was one of those times that that fact hit him forcefully.

He never knew what happened to that girl. He kicked some imaginary dirt and continued along his way.

He passed by the park. And remembered he last time he had been there was with Orihime. A smile tugged at the end of his lips.

His feet had carried him to where he had not wanted to go. The river. He stopped where he stood; he wanted to go there and see if the stones there were as white as he remembered them, or was the water as clear as it had been. He remembered himself as a child, before and after his mother's death.

The light mood he carried with him, darkened considerably. Maybe some other day. He shuffled his foot and decided to go the other way. It was then that as he was about to look away, his eye caught it.

His eyes widened, and he looked again to the direction of the river. There, her back to him, was the familiar profile of someone. A sudden wave of longing rushed in him. He had never….he took a step forward.

Rukia. He wanted to shout out her name. She looked so forlorn standing there. He wanted to simply go to her. But something held him back.

She turned around and he hoped she'd notice him. But no, she kept her face downward. She was walking forward. Towards him.

A flash of light caught his attention and he turned his head to look at it. A car. A car was heading towards her. In a few seconds, it could hit her.

Oh, shit.

Heeding nothing, not even when the warning bells resounded in his mind, he ran towards her.

He reached her just in time. The pain of having her in his arms for the first time in many years more intense than when the car hit him. The pleasure of hearing his name pass through her lips.

The relief he felt that she wasn't going to be hurt consumed him. He had saved her.

"I…ichi…Ichigo!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(1) The ghost of that girl in the first episode and the first chapter of the manga and the anime.

How about that? But I feel that it hasn't gone as I wanted it to. But I hoped it was okay?

Hint: This could be more than ten chapters. Hopefully, I could update by next week.

So REVIEW!


	6. private

Hey you there guys, I'm sure questions are swimming in your head right now…and some of you are glad that Rukia and Ichigo had already seen each other, let's see if that will last….

I'm feeling so sad –and rebellious- with chapter 286…someone should come to their rescue like now! –spoiler- is grimmjow dead? Oh good Lord, no…

Pls. Enjoy!

Thanks for the reviews!

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**VI. Private**

The door opened and closed with a bang as an anxious Orihime entered the hospital room and rushed to Ichigo's side. She had received the call from Yuzu that her husband had met an accident just as she was about to go to her work.

Bandages were wrapped about his forehead and some on his arms. And he was sleeping.

"Orihime nee-san?" Yuzu sniffed.

"Yuzu? Is he—is he okay?"

"Yes, he is. Luckily for him, the driver, an old man, managed to slow down before hitting him, but still the impact was quite large given his injuries. The old man said that Ichi-nii had just appeared on the road as if he was saving someone, but I don't believe that, maybe Ichi-nii had gone jogging as he used to."

"J-jogging?"

"Well, he used to, for almost a year. And at odd times at night too. But that was many years ago, I don't remember it that well."

She slowly nodded her head, feeling apprehension lift from her heart. He was fine, well, maybe not totally, but he was still alive and breathing and he would be okay once he wakes up. He would be alright.

He would be alright.

* * *

"Kisuke?", a slightly shaking voice asked from the doorway of their humble little shop.

He turned around, and he didn't expect the person standing there.

"Kuchiki-san?" he asked dumbfounded. He hadn't expected her to come back after all these years, especially since the Soul Society's decision. His mind racked itself for answers but he could only conclude that whatever happened to bring Rukia here, it has something to do with Byakuya's 'convincing manners'.

"Tenchou! Some new merchandise have arrived from the---" Tessai stopped in midsentence, like Kisuke, he hadn't expected her arrival.

"Tessai, take Rukia inside."

"Yes, Tenchou."

"Um,no…I only wanted to ask you something."

Tessai looked questioningly at him.

He unfolded his fan and covered half of his face with it, stating with a cheery voice,

"Oh, come on, now Kuchiki-san, you look quite pale to me. Met an accident?"

Rukia shot fearful eyes at him. So, something really did happen. But what? He knew the conditions Soul Society had set so it had something to do with Ichigo.

"Take her inside Tessai and prepare us some tea."

* * *

She looked really pale. He really haven't seen her as pale as she was now. Oh wait, there was once, a long time ago. Even the slender fingers holding the cup looked really fragile now. He sighed.

"Ah, Ru—"

"Kisuke, I came here to ask you something."

He was silent for a few moments. Getting the feeling that he knew the answer to what she was asking. He savored it a little; noting that it has been a long, long time since he last felt that way.

"What is it?"

"Yoruichi. Do you know where she is?"

"Why, of course not, Kuchiki-san! She comes and goes as she pleases."

The poor girl. She looked as if the world fell on her. Well, he knew just how to raise her spirit.

"But you could stay here until she arrives. You want a gigai? You get 50 discount." He added with a smile.

* * *

His eyelids fluttered slightly.

"Ichigo? Ichigo?"

"..ugh.."

He groaned, and those eyes opened, focused for a few moments before he met hers.

"Orihime? Why are you here?" his voice was a little hoarse, as if his vocal chords hadn't been used for a long time. Tears lingered at her eyes.

"You're alright." She was filled with relief.

"Hn." He grunted.

If he could grunt like that, then he was fine.

"Ichi-nii!"

Two voices said it at the same time.

"...Yuzu?...Karin?"

Tears were still threatening to fall. He sounded a little weak and the Ichigo she knew was strong.

She stood by his side, listening to their conversation, reacting when necessary. Until Karin asked that question.

"Ichi-nii, what happened?" she asked solemnly before Yuzu could shush her.

He didn't answer immediately. No matter how hard she tries to deny it, she was curious, it was also a part of her worry.

"I don't know. I was taking a walk through town, I stopped when I arrived at the river…" his eyebrows furrowed deeper, "and then, I remember it now, she was there, a car was coming.."

She? Her heart skipped a beat. The twins didn't even seem to notice that lapse.

He closed his eyes as if in pain. No, he really was in pain. Alarm bells sounded in her head. His bandaged hand raised to nurse his head, his eyes closed forcibly.

"Ichigo? Are you fine? Of course, you're not. What a useless question." Her heart was beating faster now. He did use to have these headaches, but not as intense as it was now, they didn't even seem to recur since the past year.

"She…Orihime? Orihime?"

"Ichigo, its okay, I'm here." She turned to face yuzu, "Yuzu, please call the doctor."

"Yes, nee-san."

"Orihime, nee-san, I'll go with Yuzu."

She nodded her assent.

* * *

Yuzu closed the door after her. Feeling like a heavy cloak have been lifted off her shoulders. It was not that she didn't like Orihime; it was that, for some odd reason, she never thought her brother would marry her.

"Karin?"

"Yuzu, what is it?"

"This morning…when I arrived, he was mentioning a name."

"What was it?"

"I can't remember, but, Karin-chan, do you think..?"

"No. Brother couldn't do that."

Yuzu walked off ahead, that little wrinkle on her brow gone, smoothed by some invisible hand. But hers only deepened a bit more. A name, huh? Back inside Ichi-nii's room, she saw her eyes widen while he was relating what happened. Seems like she knows something.

* * *

Missiles aren't aimed at me, aren't they?

I have delayed the inevitable yet again.

But, what do you think? Review…review…

Review…review…review…


	7. meeting

Thanks to katsumi, about those ellipses, they work the same way as Anne Rice uses them, if you ever read her book. A really talented author and brilliant mind, that one. Fangirllow. hehehehehehehe. Hello to my readers, and to kk626. Hope you're reading this. To have you read my story is such a pleasure unknown.

And to all of you who reviewed, thanks a LOT. AS IN, A LOT. YOU ARE THE ONES WHO KEEP THIS STORY GOING.

Sorry about the last chapter.

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**VII. Meeting**

The place was two hours away from Karakura. On their way here (on the bus), she was unsure of how she felt, but she didn't dwell long on it. What did it matter? She was going to see them soon. Her steps slowed, hardly making a sound on the cold, hard pavement until she finally stopped. Yoruichi saw this and stopped to look at her. Concern showed in her eyes.

"Rukia? I know this may sound a bit out of place, but, we could always do this some other day."

She didn't answer immediately. She wanted to see him. More than ever. Five years was just too long. She wants to see if his smile was still as wide, if those light brown eyes had gone darker, as Ichigo's, if his hair was still that same bright orange she had ruffled since he was born, but she was also afraid that he would not remember her, young as he was. Right about now, he would be turning ten.

She shook her head. She didn't know how long she could be staying in the living world, she always had to return to soul society.

Yoruichi gave her a small smile, the concern not quite gone from her eyes.

"I knew her since she was eight, she saw me in my feline form and I was surprised, to have someone see me. She knew no one else could, so she thought I was the ghost of a dead cat. She's really quite a charming lady. Really nice. She took good care of your son, I know this because I visit her almost every other week, sometimes as a cat, sometimes in my real form, like now."

Yoruichi looked at the petite frame of Rukia. She looked the same, but she also looked miserable. Who knows how she felt right now?

_The light flooded the room in a second as a woman, green-eyed and brown-haired, stepped in without noticing her. Some other time, she would have taken the time before she made herself known, but not now, she was in a hurry._

"_Haruko, I need to talk you."_

_The woman wasn't even surprised, merely looked up from where she was, smiled, greeted her a good evening, and proceeded to the adjacent kitchen. _

"_So Yoruichi, haven't seen you for a while. Would you like a cup of tea? I'll brew you one. Just wait a few minutes."_

"_Yes. Haruko?"_

"_hm?"_

_She couldn't surprise her like this and maybe she was asking too much. But she had no choice. Time was running fast, and everyone depended on her. She sighed. It was all too complicated. If Yamamoto had known long before, why did he take action just now? She looked at Haruko again, she really was not much taller than Rukia, and something in her ways, especially her eyes, reminded her of someone._

"_Here, your tea. Drink up."_

_Haruko sat from across her. They had known each other for a long time, and she trusted her, she even knew about soul society (though if she really was the one who told her that, she wasn't sure). She took a deep breath._

"_Haruko, I need to ask you for something."_

* * *

The weather was good. Just what she wanted. Dark, thick clouds overhead, no hint of sunlight, the wind a bit stronger, and it was just about to rain. She didn't like the rain, and it was a bit like spring, she sort of disliked it.

She sighed, moping on her bed, trying to feel her body for any sign of illness. She was twenty-nine, still so young. She closed her eyes.

* * *

Rukia was standing a few feet from the door, staring at the knob, feeling her hands ache to open that door. oh, God, this was torture, much more so than she ever experienced in any of her battles, or that one time back in Soul Society. Where was that courage everbody had said she possessed? Where was that will? That determination? She couldn't even bring up the courage to knock on that door!

She balled her hands to a fist and took the steps away from that door. Feeling a full mix of emotions she couldn't even describe, her hands fell limply to her sides, finally turning her back to it---

"Wait."

An unfamiliar voice called out to her. Her eyes widened.

"Ah, I see, you're with Yoruichi."

A few moments passed where she fought with herself if she should just run, pure stupidity and cowardice, but, in the end, her overwhelming desire for everything she's missed won.

"You're Yuri's mother."

* * *

yuri...yeah, i know the name (insert word here) but i really like yuri from kkm, so...hehehehe

Review, so that i can update faster!


	8. nostalgia

I hope mitsiko-kun is still reading this…and again, thanks to katsumi-san…behan, and everyone….

Ah, and everyone, I guess the last two chapters had been kind of lame, I'm not satisfied with them, so I hope with this chapter I could get you to give me more reviews (I know, I'm awfully greedy, but I need nourishment!).

-your review monster-

Ah well, tralalalala….-goes off into own place-

Really, truly long. So bear with me.

Its awkward to write 'her son'. Rukia is hard to write. But whatever, they could be ooc…but I wish they're not. –sigh-

Have a happy reading!

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**VIII. Nostalgia**

_There was blood all over him. The hand tightly holding the zanpakutou, was bloodied not by his blood. He had struggled to gain control of his body, and he had won, but not at such a price._

"_Rukia!" _

_Had he shouted out her name? He wasn't sure, all he knew was that his heart pounded hard on his chest, every beat resounding with the fear he barely kept in check, increasing with every second she lay on the ground not moving._

_He heard the distinctive 'clang' as Zangetsu fell from his hand, the weight slowed him, and he forgot he knew how to shunpo in his haste to reach her. A few more steps and he could comfort her, bring her to the Unohana, make sure that she would be okay._

_A distinctive blur stopped him on his tracks. Byakuya._

"_Kurosaki." he had never heard his name said so abhorrently_

_Not only that, as soon as he made an effort to sidestep him, six pairs of hands and arms held him. He was awfully tired and hurting, but of what importance was that compared to his need to get near to Rukia? He thrashed about, but his aching bones merely intensified the pain._

"_You might have saved her from the soukyoku and the arrancar, but that won't allow me to let you see her from now on."_

_His eyes narrowed, feeling his contempt for this man rise to his throat like bile, and he loathed himself for knowing and understanding the reason for it. But that was secondary to everything he felt._

_He watched, enviously, as Renji came to take Rukia into his arms, gingerly and tenderly, he tried to escape his captors one more time before Byakuya placed senbonzakura on his neck, applying the tiniest pressure enough to draw a few drops of blood._

"_I could kill you right now." Byakuya's eyes were colder, harder, as he applied more pressure, drawing more blood. "The only person stopping me right now is Rukia, pray that she lives, Kurosaki."_

* * *

_He sat straight up in bed, newly awakened and fell back as the pain numbed by sleep and the medicine came back full force. _

"_Renji?" he knew who it was who could go inside the room of an injured person with such noise. _

_Renji held him roughly by his shoulders, his dark brown eyes ablaze with anger. _

"_Ichigo, you bastard! How dare you do that to Rukia?! I tried to stop her, you know. But what did she keep on telling me? 'Ichigo needs me! I'm the only one who could stop him!' it was Ichigo this and Ichigo that!"_

_Renji let go of him and he fell back to the bed, pain shooting to every part of his injured anatomy. He ignored the pain; he was listening intently to what his unwelcome visitor was ranting on._

"_And now what? She hasn't woken up in two days, you blubbering fool!" _

_Renji was calmer, his hands on hips, looking at him with troubled eyes._

"_She…that…What are _**you**_ to her?!"_

* * *

"Ichigo? Are you ready to go?"

An orange-haired woman was fixing things in a bag, it was she who asked him. An orange-haired woman.

Ah, yes, Orihime.

"We're going home?"

"Yes, you have been here for more than a week already, and you live in a clinic. Its okay."

He stood up from where he was on the bed, caching the fragments of his dream. Was that really a dream? He felt it all. The raw emotions. Wait, the names. What were they again? Damn, he forgot. Make sure he better keep paper and pen near when it happens again.

She opened the door.

"Ichigo, faster. Your father and sisters are waiting at the lobby."

"Orihime, do you remember--?"

She looked questioningly at him, patiently waiting for him to finish his question.

"Nothing. Lets go." He said cheerfully.

* * *

Thoughts were swarming in her head. In front of her were pictures. How tall he has grown! He'd surely be as tall as Ichigo, that she was sure, the hair was even more luxurious than she remembered, the eyes no less bright. The same impish grin he always had on his face.

"Rukia Kuchiki, right? Yoruichi had told me about you."

She didn't know how to answer this woman. After a brief meeting, Yoruichi had gone back to Karakura, for whatever reason she didn't know, but now hat she was faced with this…

"Haruko, did he…did he even ask about me?"

There. The question prying on her mind for as long as she missed him. She turned to face Haruko, the green, slightly uptilted eyes looking at her.

"Why, yes, he did. Always. Especially in the first months, almost like everyday." She gave a (nervous?) little laugh. "And, honestly, I didn't know how to answer him."

A momentary wave of loneliness swept through them, only to be lost when Haruko asked her if she would like to drink tea and she accepted, returning back her attention to the framed pictures. She felt a little guilty that she felt happy when Haruko answered yes, but she couldn't change the fact that she _was_ happy.

Haruko let the sweet aroma of tea linger on her senses for a few seconds, and then sighed. There really was no help for this. She would be lying to herself if she admitted that she had never wished for Rukia to come back. That long ago night four years ago, when Yoruichi had told her of Yuri.

"_The parents of this child, they're powerful?"_

"_Well, the father has defeated captains, and the mother is powerful enough to be a seated officer."_

"_No, I couldn't Yoruichi-san."_

Yoruichi had left that kid in that old, catholic, worn-down orphanage, she had told her so, if she would ever change her mind. It took her a week to make a final decision.

"_The new kid? A week ago?" the kindly nun was leading her way._

"_Well, yes, I'm sorry to bother you, Sister."_

"_Oh, it's okay. There he is, sleeping like a lamb."_

_She saw a head full of orange hair, it was just plain orange, not really what you would call a carrot top. She went nearer to him. She had few experiences with little kids. Doing it could change her life forever._

She sighed. Yoruichi had told her that there was a possibility that the parents would come to get the child, it might sound selfish but she had no one to turn to. She never expected the mother to turn up today, though she had been warned last night.

_A tall man, with long hair the color of midnight. She doesn't know him and what was he doing looking at a picture of her? He was wearing weird clothing too._

"_Who are you?" the man placed back the frame on where it was supposed to be and faced her._

"_Kuchiki Byakuya."_

_Kuchiki? Yuri's surname is Kuchiki._

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_I am Yuri's uncle." Uncle, that's why they have same surname. _

She shook her head. She wanted to forget that degrading conversation.

She looked at the petite, black-haired woman. Trying to make something out of all of this.

"Rukia?"

She called out to her, and felt something close to empathy when she saw that she bent her head to wipe her face. Is she crying? She couldn't know, for Rukia had her back turned to her.

* * *

"Orihime."

Ichigo called out to her at the door. She faced him, her beautiful hair following her every movement.

"Why aren't you staying here?"

"Well, Ichigo, I…"

He was troubled. Why wouldn't Orihime stay the night here, or the whole month they would be staying here in Karakura?

Orihime merely smiled. She couldn't really tell him the reason now, could she? She couldn't tell her husband that she couldn't bear hurting herself when in his room. That he speaks another name, a name he doesn't even remember when he's awake. Especially when in his room, the other times they stayed here in Karakura, she had always avoided sleeping after him.

How could he not remember _her_? Was it so selfish of her to want to take _her_ place in his life? To be the one to make him smile and laugh? To make him be himself in her presence?

Too many wants, and too many desires. Her Ichigo.

"Orihime, wait for me, I'm packing again. Come inside while you're waiting for me, I couldn't take it if my wife catch cold. Please, Orihime."

"Y-yes. Of course, Ichigo."

Yes. It wouldn't be too selfish of her if she prayed that he wouldn't remember. After all, it was a long time ago, he was with her, maybe what he felt for her might not compare to what he felt for Kuchiki-san, but it was she who was by his side, she whom he had chosen to share his life with. That must account for something.

"I'll come inside, Ichigo, after I have taken a fresh breath of air."

* * *

Is it angsty enough? Pls. tell me. Anyways, I loved the first part of this chapter, this is one of my fave chaps, my fave chaps are 1, 2,5 and 8.

i was wondering cause i felt...ah whatever, how ould you like this to end, ichiruki? or ichihime?

you decide.


	9. dormant

Thanks for the reviews!

I'd like to share something…you know about the thing surrounding china-made products, right? Well, my father said, "maybe they're doing that so they could eliminate other people and they will dominate the world"…I wasn't sure if he was serious…

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**IX. Dormant**

The graveyard was silent. A few people had come to visit today, he saw as he gazed around the place he hadn't found the initiative to visit for three years. His gaze fell back to the woman hunched in front of him, she was saying a silent prayer to her brother, Sora. They just came back from visiting his mother's grave.

He adjusted his dark-colored glasses and felt…something. A familiar feeling. Much like what he felt before his accident. He searched with his eyes; as quickly as the feeling had come, it was gone.

* * *

Rukia stood up and straightened her dress. It was a good day to be visiting he grave of Ichigo's mother, Masaki. She had never known her, but from what she heard from Ichigo, she felt as if she had. She sighed; observing her surroundings, something, a familiar reaitsu, but it was gone as suddenly as it had come.

She turned around so fast, her skirt billowed around her. There, standing in front of her, was someone familiar. Someone she had known and never expected to see. She narrowed her eyes, noting the strange wide smile that always bared his teeth, the sleek blond hair that fell to his neck, almost to his shoulders, the lanky build of the body.

Hirako Shinji.

"What…are you doing here?"

"Rukia-san, my pretty! Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

"I'm here on important business."

She answered too hastily. Hirako's smile vanished, replaced by a disturbingly serious look as if he knew exactly why she was here.

"I didn't know that Soul Society has already allowed you to come to the living world."

"How would you know what Soul Society has been doing?"

"Oh, we have our sources."

By this time, his smile has already returned.

"Ah, Rukia-san, you wound me deeply. I am only following Ichigo, just as what I have been doing since he became a shinigami, a vaizard, and whatever came after."

Her heart missed a beat.

"Following Ichigo?"

A frown appeared on his face which did not, in any case, made him much better to look at.

"Well, actually, more so ever since his inner hollow ceased wanting to control his body. In your own terms--", he thought for a moment and looked questioningly at her, "what was your term for that?"

She backed off a step.

"Dormancy. His shinigami powers are in a state of dormancy."

He positively beamed. "Of course, I forgot. State of dormancy. You shinigami always put a silver lining on things, don't you?" He chuckled.

He has been following Ichigo ever since? Does that mean he knows a lot more about this whole affair? More so than Urahara?

"Hirako, what do you know about it?"

He sighed; his shoulders fell, in fact he looked dejected and put out.

"Not more than anyone, unfortunately. What happened to him…it's a wonder, even to us. But then again, Ichigo always has been able to pull off things like this."

Hirako fixed her with a stare. "You still haven't told me exactly why you are here."

She stayed silent. She couldn't exactly tell him the reason. Once they know, it might spread like wildfire, no, she couldn't have that. He looked as if he might wait for an eternity just to hear her answer.

Suddenly, he shook his head, and a slow, knowing smile crept to his face.

"Well, seems like I have to hear the answer some other time, Rukia-san. Ichigo and his wife, Orihime", upon hearing that, a sharp pain hit her in the gut, "are gonna be off from this place of death. Bye, see you!"

She stood rooted to the ground.

"W-wait, Hirako!" she called out to him, but he was already gone from her sight.

* * *

really short, don't you think? and are you now itching for more?

well, in that case...

REVIEW!


	10. without our acquiescence

This is becoming humor-filled…not. Damn it, it is so hard to get inside Rukia's head….aaurg! To make up…this is gonna be the longest chapter I ever made.

Anyways, don't look at me like that. I know I've got a lot of explaining to do for not updating for like many, many days…I've been so busy with contests, exams, and finally our periodical test is now finished so this week is already Sembreak!

Bu after that, school again…nay….

And damn TK (sorry! Take it back after like Rukia is fine again in the manga, I miss her sorely that I have read the whole manga like many times already! From start to latest chapter…Gawd, I miss her and Ichigo. Though Nel –yes, its one 'l'- lifts the mood a little) Where's Rukia?!

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**X.** **Times Change Without Our Acquiescence**

"_You're not joking, aren't you Kurosaki?"_

_He pushed his glasses up, the light glinting off it sharply. Ichigo was trying hard to ignore the urge to pound it into Ishida._

"_Well, yeah, I'm a doctor." He said for the umpteenth time, and added as an afterthought. "So what?"_

_Uryuu turned around suddenly, finding the thought that he was also a doctor quite not so relishing, only to face the other man's wife. His wife?_

"_Morning, Orihime."_

"_Good morning, Ishida-kun!" _

_For a moment, he had to remind himself that he was awake._

Ishida stood up from where he sat on the bed, naked as the day he was born. His current bed companion boldly watched him as he went to stand by the window, leaning on the sill with his hands.

She grabbed the glass by the bedside table and emptied it, hugging the blanket to her breasts.

"Ishida, is something bothering you?"

He grunted.

"I heard that Orihime and Ichigo are back, have you seen them?"

"Hn."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Are you going to do something about it?"

"You want to do something? Sure, invite yourself."

She fell silent, feeling stupid for even bothering to start a conversation with the enigmatic young doctor.

Ishida watched as the clouds slowly veiled the night sky, the stars twinkling back at him. He had spent many sleepless nights like this. How many nights had it been since he had last slain a hollow?

A sparkle caught his eye. It was from the real quincy cross his father had finally given him after…after…

He can't even remember when it was given to him. If it was really given to him. He knew he was supposed to remember it. How could he forget something like that? He had been thinking of the answer to why there were such huge gaps in his memory, especially in the year he turned sixteen, for a long time now. It was weird. He could remember almost nothing in that timeline.

He saw the moon. A round black thing in the sky, and the few stars visible were obscured by the clouds.

He watched the swirling liquid in his glass, the ice cubes clinking against the sides of the glass, remembering the sweet, bright smile Orihime had given him that morning. How sad that she married Ichigo.

Yeah, how sad.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Hirako is following Ichigo and Orihime. It shouldn't have surprised Rukia that they got married, no, it shouldn't, she have half-expected it. She had even made it very implicit to Ichigo before she went away.

And, anyways, there are a lot of things she should be bothered about. Why was Hirako following them? Is it because, because Ichigo's power had yet to return?

She shook her head, hoping to forget that small glimmer of hope rising in her heart. There was no use for hoping anyway. Whatever was in the past will always remain there. She had no time thinking if she should----

The door opened. It was funny that when she was about to see Yuri, she remembered the last time she saw him….

_The incessant knocking on the door has now stopped, and even though she knows that she can't stop them with only her abilities, she will try. They were not going to take him away from her too._

_She faced the door, Sode No Shirayuki poised for battle, though her hands held the zanpakutou so tight that the knuckles were now turning white. The ones wanting to enter were probably suppressing their reaitsu, she couldn't know how many or who was outside._

"_Rukia?! Open this door, Goddammit."_

_Her heart stopped in her throat._

"_R-renji?" Her voice was actually shaking! "Renji?" she asked again, this time in a much louder tone._

"_Dammit, Rukia, why are you barricading this damned door? You should fucking well know tha----"_

"_Don't speak that way to a Kuchiki."_

_Relief weakened her knees._

"_Rukia, I'll open the door."_

_She held her breath. Maybe it was a false alarm; maybe it had been useless to barricade the damned door. But she knew better, or else, why had Renji and her brother come here?_

"_They're coming." Byakuya announced as soon as he had both of his feet in the room._

_She stared at Byakuya's hard, unyielding face. At that time an old woman showed herself and in her arms was a sleeping child of four. His flaming head of orange resting on one shoulder._

"_What happened, Miss Kuchi—" the rest of the old woman's words remained unsaid. Her eyes strayed from Byakuya to Rukia fearfully._

_Rukia took deep, shaky breaths, she was aware that her face had become unnaturally pale. She went to the old woman and took the child in her arms. The old woman, stood wringing her hands, not knowing what to do in the face of her superiors._

"_Renji," she barely heard Byakuya as she hugged Yuri closer to her," take Kyo somewhere safe."_

_Renji went and took Kyo's hands, eyes darting to the kid Rukia held protectively._

"_How about Yuri?"_

"_We can't let Kyo bring him. They would just follow the kid's reaitsu and he would be unprotected. Make it fast."_

_Renji nodded his assent._

_Every one of her senses sharpened, they were coming and they were not even bothering to hide their reaitsu. _

She was still staring at the doorknob so hard that she was surprised it had not yet melted at the pressure.

_The door opened._

_No, that was wrong. The door was destroyed by them. By the same people who should have fetched her from the Living World and had been the ones to send her almost to her death at the soukyokou._

_The onmitsukidou had come, and she narrowed her eyes as Yamamoto sou-taichou revealed himself, his reaitsu almost engulfing everyone's, even Yuri had whimpered._

_The sou-taichou was heading the group instead of Soi Fon, could it be possible that she doesn't know?_

"_Seems like the sixth division's captain is here to protect his sister. Good thing that I have traveled in the same pace as them. And I wouldn't even be surprised if your vice captain was here."_

_She saw his eyes open barely and give Yuri an appraising look. Instinctively, she held him tighter, and even Byakuya's hand tightened over his zanpakutou._

"_That kid takes over his father, does he not?"_

"_That kid has a name. Use it, old man." Byakuya's voice was harsher and colder. She could taste the tension present in the room. Everybody was expecting to fight. Yamamoto's voice dropped a notch and his eyes opened beneath his heavy brows, showing the ruthlessness and the determination he had gained for all the years he was sou-taichou._

"_Kuchiki ,it would be hard to look for someone to replace you but nevertheless, it could be done. You do know what's going to happen?"_

"_Yes, I know fully well."_

_Byakuya's reaitsu went higher and so did everyone else's. Just then, there was a commotion outside, Renji has arrived, and even his spiritual energy had increased._

She saw every small fleck of violet in the kid's brown eyes. She stood rooted to the floor, and she didn't even notice the moisture gathering in her eyes cause she was excited, unsure and yet, overwhelmed by the fact that after so many years…how he has changed.

The last time she saw him, his eyes weren't that brown yet, the violet flecks in them were still very noticeable. His cheeks were very rounded, and he looked so chubby then. Even his orange hair wasn't that orange, and as spiky, nor as thick as it was now.

Yuri was looking at her so intently. Could he have forgotten her? He was, after all, grasping Haruko's hand tightly. He was nine years old now, soon to be ten. It looked as if he had grown more than she thought he would. His cheeks were becoming splotchy red.

"Yuri?" she called out to him and even stretched out her arms.

Haruko's hand fell limply to her side, and no one noticed the way she turned her head, nor the pained way she closed her eyes, as Yuri ran the short distance into Rukia's arms and his own went around her neck to hug his mother fiercely.

Rukia felt Yuri's arms go around her neck and felt something wet on her shoulder. He was crying. It was then that she knew at to what extent she missed him. Rukia tightened her arms around him and shut her eyes so hard. Yes, she was happy, truly happy. Nothing else could make her happier….

"Momma, you came for me! They told me you would! They did! Don't ever leave me again!"

His cries were muffled against her shoulder, yet she could not stop the tears from falling.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Haruko hugged herself tightly, shivering slightly in the cold. She had intentionally gone for a long walk just a minute after six o'clock that evening and was now coming back for diner, and she had forgotten to wear warmer clothes, too.

She let out a string of curses, leaning on the hard trunk of a tree several yards away from her house. Her house where Yuri and Rukia was now having a mother-and-son bonding time to make up for all those lost years.

What the hell am I thinking? Am I begrudging Rukia for showing up after five years? I knew this would happen, Yoruichi told me, didn't she? To quote her "…don't get to attached to the boy...". And yet, as the years went by, she had slowly come to think of Yuri as her own. Which was silly, of course.(1)

She sighed.

Then she remembered the incident at the beach a few days back, when she had brought Yuri along with her. And she felt as if the night's temperature had gone a notch lower. She glanced back at the house.

Dinner. She had to prepare it, she would, of course, cook Yuri's favorite dish (she'd have to tell Rukia all about his likes, dislikes and allergies, she reminded herself). With that, she walked up to her front porch, still hugging herself.

She was reaching for the doorknob when the sound a car stopping in front of her lawn stopped her. Feeling relieved (for a reason she dare not mention), she turned. It was what she heard people call it, a luxury car, pretty expensive, and it looked as if it was chauffeur-driven.

The owner approached her. Byakuya was wearing casual clothes, a dark green turtle-neck sweater and jeans. But he still looked formidable because of the expression on his face.

"Good evening."

"Same to you Byakuya Kuchiki."

The man looked as if she had ruffled some of his feathers with that statement. Well, then, he could not have expected her to be so courteous to him, haven't he?

"I believe my sister and nephew are inside."

This man is an expert in subtleties. He could have merely said plainly, 'invite me in'.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Renji was prowling the small room in Kisuke's house. He was feeling nervous, for what reason, he doesn't know and he doesn't care.

"Hey, pineapple! Stop pacing, you're scaring the costumers!"

Jinta called out to him. Damn that kid, calling him a pineapple. What cheek.

He stopped pacing and went out of the room.

"Shut up, you creep! It's a little past seven, there could be no more costumers! You think I'm stupid?"

He challenged the kid. (Jinta had grown and looked his age at twenty-one, but since he was still taller than him, he calls Jinta 'kid'), and looked down at him.

"You said that, not me."

He glared.

"Now, now, kids," Kisuke interrupted, "Just calm down, we wouldn't want to disturb the town with one your fights, would we now?" and to Renji, "Sit, Renji, your captain told me to tell you something."

Renji's annoyance disappeared in a hush, replaced with disbelief.

"Kuchiki taichou?"

Kisuke feigned surprise. "Oh, I wasn't aware you've changed captains."

Renji grumbled and Kisuke fanned himself while giving himself a small smile.

"Well, Renji," he dangled a set of keys, "your taichou told me that you better have opened the house, or in our terms, the mansion, before, let's say, eight this evening."

"Hell, that's more or less, thirty minutes from now."

"Yes, I know. Would you like to have it?"

"Of cour---! Didn't taichou tell you to just give it to me?"

Kisuke sighed. "You're no fun Abarai-san."

Renji stubbornly opened his palms and he dropped the keys in them.

"Where is it?"

He told him the directions to the place.

"Double damned shit, that's far!"

Kisuke gave himself a big, congratulatory smile.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"Oi, Ichigo, where's my grandchild?" Isshin asked him in the middle of dinner which had him glaring at his father, and Orihime almost spilling her drink.(2)

"You perverted old man. You don't talk like that in front of the meal." Karin retorted.

"Thanks, Karin." He was still glaring at his father.

Isshin, being his usual self, didn't give up and kept on pestering him until Karin couldn't take any more of it and actually pulled at her father's beard, shouting in his ear, "Shut up, old jerk, Ichi-nii and nee-san has no child yet! Get it? GET IT?!"

Ichigo sighed at their exchange, after all, he was used to it, and he has even begun to think back where he was staying now, how he missed those old times. But now, he has changed his mind. He would never ever think about missing his father's silly antics. Come to think of it, his father seemed not to have grown older. He looked as he always did.

He glanced at Orihime and gave her a little smile. He knows she still wasn't used to Karin and their dad bickering, with Yuzu acting as referee. And Orihime gave him a smile back.

Later, that night, as they were going to bed, Ichigo remarked about it.

"They're always like that, you know, I'm sure you have noticed."

"What about, Ichigo?"

"Dad and Karin fighting."

"Oh, that? Its okay. I'm used to it. I've been part of this family for like six years already, so I'm used to it."

"Good."

"But, sometimes, I'm worried if they'll harm each other. We both know Karin's a member of Karakura's soccer team, she could pack quite a kick, and you're father is old. Isn't he?"

"That man. Eh, don't worry about him. He's as strong as a silverback gorilla."(3)

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

That's all for this chapter, it's up to you what happened next.

(1)is she becoming another Orihime?

(2)seems like Isshin knows, does he?

(3)I don't wanna finish this…

So, the next chapter I'm planning to start from where this story is supposed to pick up. Before Yuri, so yeah, it's a sort of flashback…and it could answer a lot of your answers!!!! So start giving me those reviews!! And it has to be a lot…like more than 10? And exceeds ten!!!!

forgive the worng spellings and everything it was just because i was so excited to update!!!

Please!!! I like to know if I lost touch with this! (the flashback is the reason why this is such a long chapter, but the flashback chapter/s would only happen if you give me many, many reviews!)

And as you have read above…I still haven't decided whether its ichiori or ichiruki…so please!

Reviews! Thanks…a whole lot…


	11. lost, and still searching

_"If there was a way to take everyone's pain away...  
And heap it all on the shoulders of just one person... _

A way to let every man, woman and child,  
black or white or red or yellow,  
live their lives knowing only happiness...

At one person's expense...

I'd do it."  
- Anonymous

The reason why I'm joining PMA(Philippine Military Academy…). Who else likes to join?! (Pray for me that I'll pass the test!)

forgive the typos

i think i mentioned it in the last chapter that they were going to live in karakura, due to byakuya. well, i know some of you didn't like the name Yuri for their son, but there's a reason for that i assure you.

Disclaimer: Kubo Tite owns everything that's bleach. characters not drawn by his own hands are of the fanfic writer's.

**XI. Lost, and still Searching **

"Do you think they will get angry, Kon?"

A few groans, then the sound of a zipper unzipping, broke the silence. A lion plushie appeared, gasping for its breath.

"Why do you insist on covering me with too many things? I can't breathe!"

"No one knows you're with me, not even Mumsie Haru. So, will they?"

"How would I know?!"

Yuri took one last glance at the big house then continued on his way. It was the perfect opportunity for him to be going out alone; Uncle Byakuya was out, so was his momma, and his mumsie was out cold. He continued to weave in and out of the crowd, making up plans and making sure he was as unnoticeable as possible for someone with orange hair.

"Hey kid, now that I think about it, why haven't I seen Haruko this afternoon?"

Yuri hushed him as an old woman passed too close.

"She was knocked out cold, last I saw her. That drug worked out fine."

"You---you drugged her?!"

"Hai!"

Kon sweatdropped. Who would have thought that the little kid knows such things? Heck, it was more mind-boggling from whose genes he inherited his deviousness which he almost always successfully hid from everybody when his orange hair should shout it out. Kon was sure it was from Ichigo. And if he were lucky, he might witness a new demonstration of his superb acting skill he surely got from Rukia.

They were peacefully walking, passing by shops, stores, people, parked cars, and dogs when he got a weird feeling in his stomach, that they were becoming lost. Add to that, the number of people they were passing by was rapidly growing thin.

"Ah…Yuri, where are we going again?", he asked as he adjusted his seat on his shoulder.

"To my father." The boy replied cheerfully, too cheerfully for his liking.

"And where is your father?", he asked yet again.

Yuri hummed and pretended not to hear him. This had Kon so annoyed and shouted in this kid's ear.

"WE ARE LOST, AREN'T WE?!"

Several heads turned in their direction, which had Kon flop back on Yuri's shoulders like an incongruous imitation of Simba. Yuri continued on walking. And walking. And walking.

Which had Kon's tmper flare up yet again. (Though in truth, only five minutes have passed since his outburst.) Luckily, they were in a secluded area of a park, where the evidence of kids playing soccer was all over the place. Kon hopped off his shoulder while he sat on the ground, cross-legged.

"Okay, kid, I cease playing harmless little, and not to mention cute stuffed toy now that---"

"Not to mention dirty and smelly."

Kon glared at him. "That is the last time I'll be taking insults from you. We're lost. You don't even know where we are going. How could you have placed unto yourself to find this father of yours? Huh? And now YOU ARE LOST. Do you even know how to get back home?"

It was unlike of Kon to be berating someone, much less a kid. But, hell, he'll just admit it. This kid sometimes reminded him so much of Ichigo, and the fact he'd lived with the kid for five years. Seconds elapsed, then Yuri's voice, laced with sadness and melancholy, broke the silence.

"I overheard them talk about it last night. It seemed like they have no plans of ever telling me. About my father, I mean."

He looked down at the ground as his finger traced several patterns on the ground.

"And Momma…she's going to leave me again. Very soon."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

It was a hot and stifling day to be in the hospital. And anyway, Kurosaki was there to volunteer for a while. A frown creased his forehead when he recalled their conversation a few hours ago. He was in his office, making quick notes to his journal about some of his patients when Kurosaki barged in, scowl and all, and demanded for something to do. Then and there, he opted for a day's leave and as the hospital's temporary director, could do it in the wink of an eye. (His father was in Europe getting new supplies, and they owned most of it anyway.)

So now he was walking around with a lot of time in his hands. He may have spent too much in the hospital or the medical books because he would then assess and reassess everyone's health by how they looked as they passed him.

He sighed as he turned around a corner, and slumped on the sidewalk.

As soon as he sat, voices drifted over to him. Children. Most probably were fighting over simple trivial things. He put them off from his head, but instead, the voices got louder, they were actually shouting. He stood up, wondering why the hell he was bothering with it.

He followed the voices and saw a couple of kids ganging up on one kid who was tugging what looked like a plushie. He approached them and asked aloud at the biggest of the creatures, a ten year-old who looked as if he was ten pounds overweight.

"What's going on here?" , he asked tiredly, albeit, in a non-threatening way. The boys still ran away from him however. He shrugged and turned around to look down at the little boy he had just saved from a socially demoralizing experience.

What he didn't expect was that the boy would have orange hair, brown eyes, holding a lion plushie that looked older than the kid and looking up straight at him. A look of puzzlement crossed his face for a mere second.

"So….kid---"

"Don't call me kid. I'm nine years old, and _I_ have a name."

This child was cocky. He raised an eyebrow. "Well, what is it?"

"I'm Yuri."

He moved his glasses higher on his nose and nodded.

"You're unaccompanied."

The youngster refused to answer.

"I take that as a yes. Come with me, I better take you back to your mother, she might be worried as hell right now, seeing as its summer and I have nothing to do."

"Mr….?"

"Ishida Uryuu."

"Mr. Ishida, I, well, I'm looking for someone. I can't go home yet."

"You're looking for someone, eh? If you know his name and address, I could take you there; I know a lot of people in Karakura."

"Really? Then you can help me!"

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Kon would be sweating buckets if he could. This was not good. Why pencil-thin Uryuu, of all the people?! This can't be happening, If Rukia onee-san found out…

No, he had to stop this before it go full-blown out of proportions. But first, he had to be careful. What would he do? What would he do?

Of course he would do nothing. He wouldn't, couldn't, break a little kid's heart. At least, he could keep that kid's heart unbroken for a little while longer.

* * *

ah...I'm Still alive. the next chapter is of someone spending time with his grandpa... harharharr

A belated Merry Christmas and an advance Happy New Year to all, also advance happy birthday. hehehehhhehe

Review, or else...


	12. this is how it all starts

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**XII. This is How it all Starts**

That afternoon was extremely mild. The sun was out for all the good it could do but the breezes kept the temperature down. Many people found the weather charming and conducive to a quiet calmness.

Not so for Urahara who now and then was fanning himself with that old-fashioned fan of his that never seemed to get lost or to get destroyed. Ururu and Jinta were in the actual shop, minding the costumers, _living _costumers. He constantly was glancing at the door, expecting any moment from now a middle-aged looking, bearded man spouting smoke from his nostrils.

"What's got you nervous, Urahara?" Yoruichi, in cat form, spoke from behind him.

He gestured with his fan as he said, "Nothing, nothing at all."

She stretched and laid down, flat on her stomach. The wooden floor was a little bit cold, but she didn't mind it.

"I could smell it off you." She paused to see his reaction, and when she saw none, she continued, "that kid being here makes you nervous?"

He glanced at her, then said nothing.

"_You _have not told Isshin everything?" it was meant to be question, he knew that, but she said it in such a way that the accusation stung.

"Not really..."

Yoruichi got up and sending him one last disdainful glance, left him alone.

Why did he stop Ishida from bringing Yuri to the clinic? He knew he couldn't gain anything from doing that. It was much better, _waaaay_ better, if he wasn't there when Isshin found out, but of course he had to dig himself a big hole. Now, he had to explain, mostly everything to him, after his ear has been blown off by that man's noisy tirade.

* * *

An annoying bitch who went by the name of Hiyori was slapping his face with a yellow slipper every five seconds or so but he stubbornly refused to open his eyes for the sake of being stubborn. That was until she slapped the slipper so hard a molar or two could have been destroyed.

"What the?!" Shinji turned an annoyed face at the culprit. "You bitch!"

"Shut up! Its your fault, dickhead Shinji."

He reluctantly gave in and rubbed his still-aching cheek.

"What is it you want?"

"About that other dickhead, Ichigo, you still following him?"

"Yeah. Now that he's back here, following him is a hell of a lot easier.'

"Heh. Why do you still insist on following him? If he ever gets back to himself again then we would know. And we don't even know if he's going to."

A smile spread across his face. Hiyori seeing this cocked her head with a bored expression.

"I won't be surprised if by the following week he'll start seeing ghosts again, and the week after that, he'll have remembered it all."

Hiyori sat on the ground next to him cross-legged. They remained silent and watched their fellow vaizards doing whatever it is they do.

"Hmph, I still can't see why you would like to be present when that time comes. The shinigami are there, including that Kuchiki. You would only invite trouble down upon our heads."

"That's why I didn't tell you."

Hiyori's outraged Whaaaaat?! echoed long after Shinji fled from the vaizards hideout in a wink.

* * *

Ishida retuned to the hospital and found a distracted Ichigo, a far cry from the Ichigo who had demanded for some work that morning. Since he was already back from his short sightseeing, and mainly doing nothing that took less than a day, he was again submerged in work. Thoughts were forgotten as soon as he stepped foot in the hospital.

He worked until late that night, and went home exactly two hours after Ichigo had gone home ahead of him, still looking distracted. He had decided to remain to check if everything had gone right in the hospital when he left Ichigo there, and was actually surprised to know everything had gone smoothly. He had thought that his expression heralded something bad.

So he went home, tired and sleepy and was sure that he would fall asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

There were several messages left on his answering machine and everything was from his father. Nothing of importance though. So he erased them, ate a little bit, did everything with droopy eyes and soon dropped to bed.

It was the next morning that he remembered what he should have done the day before. He grabbed the phone and dialed a number.

It kept on ringing and ringing. He had decided to just call on another time when a voice answered it.

"Hello! Good morning, Orihime speaking." Her cheerful voice greeted him.

He stood rooted to the ground wondering why in hell he couldn't have just forgotten this so easily.

"Hello? May I know who's this, please?"

He cleared his throat.

"Good morning, Inoue-san."

"OH, its you Ishida-kun! Why are you calling me? Is there a problem?"

What was that he needed to know, again?

"Pardon me for calling you so early in the morning, Inoue-sa---"

"It's okay Ishida-kun. Actually the phone ringing is what woke me up, my alarm clock broke."

"Ah, well, this won't take long. I only need to ask you one thing. This has been bothering me since yesterday."

"Uhuh. So, what is it?"

"Do…do you know someone whose name is Rukia? Rukia Kuchiki? I know its stupid, but yesterday I met a k---Hello? Inoue-san? Orihime?! Are you still there?!"

* * *

_Do…do you know someone whose name is Rukia? Rukia Kuchiki?_

That name…

She barely felt the phone slip past her fingers as she took the time to recover from the shock she received from hearing her name.

_Yes. Yes, Ishida-kun, I know her! I know her! What else do you want to know, Ishida-kun? What else do _**you**_ know?_

She wanted to shout to him. How could he have known that name?

She didn't know what to do.

Ichigo. How about Ichigo? Does he know about it? About her? Is that…is that why he had chosen to stay in Karakura? No, no that can't be it. She simply knew it. His family was there, so it was obvious why he chose that place for his vacation. She needed to call him; she desperately needed to make sure that...She choked on tears at the last thought that entered her mind.

_That he wasn't going to leave her anytime soon._

* * *

Wahhh….what was that?! Did you just read that?!

And what happened back in Karakura in the span of time that I simply didn't reveal?

Hahahaha….the author is sinfully wicked! So, review so that you wouldn't be kept in the dark for too long…that's the reason why I'm updating slowly…-whistles-


	13. unraveling the secret

Um, Crimson (I'll just call you that because its easier to remember) it would really be nice if I can update like everyday, but I have an awful habit of doing everything I want on the time I want to…but don't worry cause this story's deadline is sometime on March, so it means I'll update more often from now on cause this story's actually more than 20 chapters…and I' not really used to writing long chapters…

BEHAN! I agree with you!

Superrukia…I appreciate you as a reader…

And Everyone who reviewed…THANKS…You keep me working on this story…just forgive me cause I keep getting sidetracked by things in school, family problems, and the like….

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**XIII. Unraveling the Secret**

Ichigo was walking to wherever his feet would lead him to, and right now, it seems as if they were leading him to a very familiar place. He would have wanted to stay at the hospital, but simply being there was very disturbing. Images kept flashing into his head that they seemed and even felt like they were memories, **his **memories.

But that was impossible. Everything that happened almost eleven years ago might have been hazy, and that was disturbing in itself, but for those images to fill in the gaps in his life? That was laughable.

Placing both hands in his pocket, he sat on the cool grass and simply gazed at the river.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Isshin placed the phone back into its cradle and sighed. Yuzu had just called. Thank God she was not here, one thing less to worry about. Karin was another matter, she and her baby; they shouldn't be here when it all happens again. Many years ago, he went away from Soul Society to avoid trouble, and here was trouble, following him, a never-ending circle around him, growing wider to include his son, his daughters, and quite possibly, his grandsons.

He shook his head. It shouldn't have been this way; all he wanted was peace with Masaki, then Masaki died, and together with her, the peace he thought he had finally found.

The clinic door opened and a patient went in. Returning to his usual self, he greeted her but something still lingered in his mind.

_Isshin looked darkly at Urahara. He was waiting for him to explain everything._

_He didn't have to wait long._

"_Isshin, we both know that Ichigo has somehow managed to suppress his powers, and forgot everything that had to do with it. We both know when it started, don't we?"_

"_Hell, yeah. That stupid son of mine."_

"_After the winter war…"_

"_Yup, and then it happened, and he decided to forget everything. Ha-ha, big joke. He can't even see ghosts, can he?" He let out a deep breath. "You know, Urahara, I thought he had conquered his fear of his hollow. I never thought…he was that afraid of it."_

"_There's always a time for everything."_

"_He even managed to stop Aizen, for God's sake!" _

_Urahara's face hardened, and so did Yoruichi's._

"Excuse me, are you okay? Dr. Kurosaki?"

"Wha—What? Why, yes, I'm okay! Never been better!"

"Okay, goodbye and thank you again Dr. Kurosaki."

He waved goodbye and fell back to his thoughts.

"_Isshin, trouble has come again."_

_He eyed Urahara and nodded._

"_I knew he would act again as soon as Ichigo would start recovering himself. But it's much too soon."_

"_It's not too soon", Yoruichi countered, "Ichigo's son is here, so is Rukia. Byakuya is on and off going from Soul Society then back here. It would all be too easy. If he is still alive, if, I'm sure this would have been his plan."_

_They fell silent. It was Urahara who broke it._

"_Fact is, we can't be too sure. Everyone felt his reaitsu shrink then just disappear. Even I couldn't think of a way for him to come back again."_

"_Hey, can I meet my grandson?"_

Yuri was another thing to worry about. It was apparent he had inherited a strong reaitsu, and it felt cold, so most probably he was another snow and ice type, just like his mother.

The three of them, himself, Yoruichi, and Urahara, had talked about the possibilities yesterday. He just wished everything would go right this time. That this war would just end this time, and that peace would stay for a long while, this time.

Before he strikes again.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Haruko was looking pale and she felt so out of herself. Ignoring it, she followed Yuri out of the big house, and into the garden. She smiled at Rukia who she had just noticed was looking at her weirdly. Rukia didn't even return her smile, but simply looked away sadly.

Hell, she felt worse now that she was outside and the breeze was even colder.

"Haruko?" she looked at Rukia questioningly. "I think you should go back inside, you don't look too well."

So, it was obvious?

"Hai, thanks, and sorry, again."

"For what?"

She opened her mouth to say it, and then decided against it. "Nothing, I'll just be inside."

As soon as she had closed the door of her room, she was racked by coughs and they were loud and long enough to have Rukia come running to her.

"Haruko, are you okay?"

"Yes. Yes, I am. No need to worry." She looked down at her hand, saw blood on it and immediately hid it behind her back.

"I think I should take you to the hospital. Really, I insist."

"No. What about Yuri?"

"But…"

"I appreciate the concern Rukia, but really, you don't need to. And there's no reason why I need to go the hospital. No reason at all."

She started to go bathroom, and her head started to hurt, just a little at first but it started to intensify, until she fell to the floor, holding her head. It hurts like hell. She bit her lips so hard until it bled. The pain was a welcome diversion from her hurting head.

She remembered Rukia's worried face looking down at her, before she graciously gave in to darkness.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Ichigo was trying to stand up. He was trying to, but he can't, something was holding him down. It was like an invisible energy above him. He tried to fight it but only succeeded in falling to both his knees and hands.

The feeling was strangely familiar. He wouldn't have believed it if he wasn't here right now.

_Heh. What a shitty mess I'm in._

"Kurosaki Ichigo." He froze and looked up. And felt, really felt that he was supposed to know this man and that h e was dangerous.

He tried to focus his eyes so that he could see the man's face clearly but the sun just happened to be directly above his head so a shadow hid the man's face well.

"Who are you?" he growled.

"Ah, you don't remember me? How amazing. You really are amazingly powerful, Kurosaki-kun, imagine you forced yourself to forget everything that had a connection to your power. I wonder why that is so. Did Kurosaki-kun get a little afraid?"

Even his voice was awfully familiar.

"What are you talking about?"

The man was wearing a black kimono-something and a white overcoat. How weird, maybe this was some punk trying to wheedle money out of him. Yet he knew he was wrong, this man was for real and his intentions weren't honorable.

"So you really don't remember? How about this?", his eyes widened as sunlight glinted from the sharp blade of the man's sword.

_What the hell?!_

He could feel the sweat falling from his forehead, but it was not from the heat. This man was really serious. The unknown man swung his sword and in an instant he thought he was dead, instead he felt the steel's hard bite starting to draw blood from his neck.

"You're lucky. I can't kill you for now, but the next time we meet, it'll be the last, for you or for me."

What was this guy talking about? He hadn't had an inkling of an idea. He closed his eyes against the glare of the sun, and he was now taking deep breaths. The blood was trickling down his neck, he could feel it and it scared the hell out of him, a few more inches and the man could leave him here, bleeding to his death.

The man smiled, the menace in his smile was almost tangible as he drew the sword away from his neck and returned it to its sheath. He lifted a hand, covered his wounded neck and discovered that he could stand up, so he did.

The man's back was already turned from him.

"I'll be back, and be warned, ready or not, I'm going to kill you."

The man took a step and his other hand shot out to grab the man but before he could do so, the man vanished from his sight.

"Damn it."

Ignoring the pain in his neck, he paced back and forth.

What did he mean? He was missing something important here. It could mean his life. His dad, does he know? But that idiot wouldn't know anything about something like this right? Hell, damned if he knew.

What was he supposed to do?!

"WHAT DID I FORGET?! Why can't I remember? What do I need to remember? Damn. Damn. Damn. What happened eleven years ago?!"

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Hope, you enjoyed reading!

P.S.

I would like to know what you think of it so far, so please, review?


	14. Part II

Winter War: An End

Late, again….sorry

I tried to update the last days but I had a fever so I had to rest, sleeping like half of the day, my parents blamed my time spent on the computer which is like from orning till night, or night till morning. I know, crazy.

Just please forgive me. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

the calmness before the storm is deceiving

**Part 2**

**'The End is a Beginning'**

Soul Society holds a lot of secrets. Beneath its many layers is cold cruelty.

But that, in itself, is a deception. Soul Society wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to keep secrets, it wasn't supposed to deceit, it wasn't supposed to hold you in its intricate web of lies.

There is someone. Someone who holds everyone under is power...

**Winter War: An End**

Black won.

He won, at long last, Aizen was gone, his presence had been like a sword hanging over their head by a single thread and this, too, was now gone. But it didn't matter to him, not yet anyway, what was more important to him at this moment was the crumpled figure a few feet away from him. Summoning the remaining strength he had left and forgetting his bleeding wounds, he walked the few steps to where she laid on the ground. He fell to his knees and ignored the shot of pain that went through him.

Ichigo cradled her head on his lap carefully. His hands were shaking.

"R-Rukia? Are you all right?"

A groan. A moan of pain escaped from her lips. He was bone-achingly tired, he knew he was bleeding in many places, and he needed to rest, to sleep, by God. Every inch of his body was crying out to him in shots of pain, simultaneously. But not until he see her eyes open.

Gingerly, he nestled Rukia's body more comfortably within his arms. Almost immediately, his body began to protest in waves of pain against this new torture. He wanted to stand up and carry her to Orihime or Unohana or whoever was available, but even that was now beyond him. Amidst the loud fighting happening around him, the bursts of reaitsu have trickled down to a minimum, meaning the enemy were almost subjugated by now, and he could hear his loud and ragged breathing.

Hell, even breathing hurt.

He glanced at the lifeless body lying far away from them; saw the blood surrounding the body from where Aizen was bleeding, most especially from the neck which no longer carried on it a head. To kill a shinigami, you have to cut off their head, he remembers someone telling him. And he did just that. Cut off Aizen's head, the final insult.

"…hm…hmmmm…"

His head turned in a flash.

"Rukia? Rukia, are you all right?"

No response, so he patted her cheeks a little bit, then a little bit more.

Those violet eyes opened in an expression of recognition and annoyance; a small hand caught the big, bloody hand patting her cheeks at a mile per second.

"Really, Ichigo, why'd you have t--"

The rest of her words got stuck in her throat as she saw, _really saw,_ all the injuries on Ichigo. He should be resting right now, after being cured by someone, not minding her just because she got a little injured by way of her stupidity. The annoyed look completely replaced by a deeply growing concern for his well-being, she sat up, perhaps a little too fast as she saw Ichigo wince.

She looked at the hand she was still holding, at all the little gashes there, and she noticed once again, how small her hand was compared to his.

"Rukia, I--" _I don't know what to say._

She looked at him, and the message was clear in her eyes.

_You don't have to say anything._

They both heard a loud voice, effectively breaking the moment.

"Rukia, you-", he suddenly stopped as he saw that Rukia was holding Ichigo's hand in such a way, "why'd YOU go here? Didn't I tell YOU--?! You made me worry, you idiot!"

As he was looking around, it was then he saw the crumpled body far away, but not so far that he couldn't see if it had a head. In fact, it really had no head! _Aizen._ He had no idea…

"Renji, instead of standing dumbsruck at whatever it is, could you help with Ichigo?"

"Y-yeah", he said as he placed Ichigo's arm over his shoulders.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

He was dreaming.

No, he was not. The room was clean, neat, and the words 'rich', 'expensive', and 'this is not your room', shouted at him. Tossing the covers, he stood up and scrambled for the big, wooden closet located at the corner of the room. He opened the closet and grabbed the nearest drab-looking kimono.

"…kimono?"

He groaned as he silently wore it, and cursed himself for being dragged and actually convinced by that idiot Ishida to stay at the Kuchiki mansion. That guy, Ishida, probably thought it was a once in a lifetime chance upon being asked by the 'good man such as Captain Kuchiki Byakuya to stay in his great big cave called a house' with a suspicious glint in his eyes.

He smoothed the folds in one, swift motion of his hand and let himself out of the door. The only reason that Byakuya had even relented to let them stay for a couple of days or so was because the injured shinigami had filled the Fourth Division's infirmary and there was nowhere else for them to go.

A pair of giggling kids walked past by him. Servants. He sighed. Yesterday, as he went strolling by himself around the place, he had tried to count the number of them but gave up as soon as he came to twenty-something, he wasn't sure about it and he wasn't good with faces so he could have counted it wrong.

Heck, why did he even care to count the number of servants?

He rounded at the corner and was met by two very serious violet eyes.

"Ichigo, I told you that breakfast is at 7:30 in the morning. You're going to be late. Thank God, you woke up before I could arrive in your room or else you'd be bedridden again."

He wished he haven't gotten out of bed so that he would have known what Rukia would have done.

Eh? Most probably stick a slipper in his mouth, like the last time he overslept. She was a slave driver. He sighed.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, where are we going to eat?"

"The Breakfast Room", she answered nonchalantly.

"T-the Breakfast Room?! You actually go naming your rooms?!"

Rukia looked at him questioningly.

"Something wrong? There's also called the Yellow room, the Blue room. The room you're currently using is called", she lowered her voice as if she was confiding a secret, "the Avenging Ghost's Room."

This time, he was the one who looked at her as if she had indeed lost her mind. And she was grinning like a madman.

"Duh, baka. I was kidding."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Kuchiki-san!"

Both of them looked at the direction of the voice, and sure enough, it was Orihime, who was waving a bit enthusiastically.

"Kurosaki-kun, Kuchiki-san, good morning. Phew, it's been such along time since I've last seen you two. And Ishida-kun. And Chad-san."

"Working hard lately, Inoue?", Rukia asked.

Orihime nodded. "Yup. I thought Unohana-san needed my help, and she let me."

She glanced at Ichigo, then at Rukia. "Uh, why are you together?"

Rukia smirked as she answered even before Ichigo could open his mouth.

"Ichigo's been following me."

"Don't believe her, Inoue. She's lying."

Orihime smiled up at him, and he glanced away.

Not noticing the look of disappointment in Orihime's face, Rukia took up the conversation. They were just looking around Rukongai. Ichigo was curious about it.

He followed a close distance behind them. They haven't gone far from Seireitei, the gate from where they came out was still visible , and the trees were a bit denser in these parts. Weren't they supposed to go to the nearest town?

_Have you forgotten your promise, King?_

Shut up, I don't need you.

_Stop humoring me. You know very well what I mean._

Once again, he ignored that voice. He looked up to see that they were starting to leave him. He started to walk a little faster but his knee gave in as his inner Hollow craved attention and got it.

_YOUR POMISE! Have you forgotten your damned promise?!_

Stop. Just stop bothering me.

His vision was starting to blur, and his breathing was starting to come in short gasps.

_I thought we were partners! _

We are.

His chest was becoming too tight; still, he attempted to stand up. Orihime laughed. But her laugh seemed to come from a far distance.

_Liar! _

No.

_If you won't, then I will FORCE it._

Never. You w-won't.

_Do you think you would have won if it wasn't for __**ME?!**_

His head started to ache. Never had his inner hollow acted so malevolently against him. Unused to it, he quickly buckled under the pressure.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Cliffy!

Next chapter: What happens is something that will change the course of their lives…

Review, please…


	15. obstacles

Woah

Woah! Chapter 15!(sort of) first time reaching this number! YES!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed all of you were most kind. Late because I sort of got stuck reading SasuSaku fanfictions...heh, sorry

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo owns the entire bleach universe. I'm just using his characters for my own enjoyment and, hopefully, your enjoyment too.

**2.2**

**XV. Obstacles**

Ichigo was on his knees, facing the ground and clutching an invisible mask in front of his face. He was breathing heavily, and he desperately wanted to shout out to his companions to get the hell away from him. He lifted his head with difficulty and cursed his blurry vision.

He vaguely heard his name being called out as darkness claimed him.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

There was blood all over him. He wasn't even sure if it was his or of the girl in front of him. The hand tightly holding the zanpakutou, was bloodied not by his blood, of that he was sure. He had struggled to gain control of his body, and he had won, but not at such a price.

"Rukia!"

Had he shouted out her name? He wasn't sure, all he knew was that his heart pounded hard on his chest, every beat resounding with the fear he barely kept in check, increasing with every second she lay on the ground not moving.

He heard the distinctive 'clang' as Zangetsu fell from his hand, the weight slowed him, and he forgot he knew how to shunpo in his haste to reach her. A few more steps and he could comfort her, bring her to Unohana or Orihime, make sure that she would be okay.

A distinctive blur stopped him on his tracks. Byakuya.

"Kurosaki." he had never heard his name said so abhorrently

Not only that, as soon as he made an effort to sidestep him, six pairs of hands and arms held him. He was awfully tired and hurting, but of what importance was that compared to his need to get near to Rukia? He thrashed about, but his aching bones merely intensified the pain.

"You might have saved her from the soukyoku and the arrancar, but that won't allow me to let you see her from now on."

His eyes narrowed, feeling his contempt for this man rise to his throat like bile, and he loathed himself for knowing and understanding the reason for it. But that was secondary to everything he felt.

He watched, enviously, as Renji came to take Rukia into his arms, gingerly and tenderly, he tried to escape his captors one more time before Byakuya placed senbonzakura on his neck, applying the tiniest pressure enough to draw a few drops of blood.

"I could kill you right now." Byakuya's eyes were colder, harder, as he applied more pressure, drawing more blood. "The only person stopping me right now is Rukia, pray that she lives, Kurosaki."

He sat straight up in bed, newly awakened and fell back as the pain numbed by sleep and the medicine came back full force.

"Renji?" he knew who it was who could go inside the room of an injured person with such noise.

Renji held him roughly by his shoulders, his dark brown eyes ablaze with anger.

"Ichigo, you bastard! How dare you do that to Rukia?! I tried to stop her, you know. But what did she keep on telling me? 'Ichigo needs me! I'm the only one who could stop him!' it was Ichigo this and Ichigo that!"

Renji let go of him and he fell back to the bed, pain shooting to every part of his injured anatomy. He ignored the pain; he was listening intently to what his unwelcome visitor was ranting on.

"And now what? She hasn't woken up in two days, you blubbering fool!"

Renji was calmer, his hands on hips, looking at him with troubled eyes.

"She…that…What are **you** to her?!"

Ichigo wasn't given a chance to answer as the door opened once more and a familiar head poked in. It was Hanatarou's.

"A, Abarai Renji-san, please, go out of Kurosaki-san's room. You're not allowed to do that h-here."

Renji turned to Hanatarou with a dark scowl on his face, which had him looking at the floor nervously. "Ku-kurosaki-san, someone else i-is here to see y-you."

"Kurosaki-kun?"

Renji's scowl lightened as he saw who had entered the terribly oppressive room..

"Inoue." Ichigo acknowledged her presence with a brief nod. The girl's worried look dropped on him.

"I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun, I was told not to try to heal you…", she started apologetically.

"It's okay, Inoue, you don't have to apologize. Where's Ishida and Chad?"

"Oh, them. Well, actually--"

Renji continued her sentence.

"They're going back after she speaks to you in a minute or two."

"What?! No one told me…"

"Heh, why would anyone tell you?"

"Kurosaki-kun, I hope you're fine, and also…." She looked at the other occupants of the room and a blush made her cheeks rosy pink, "and also, ah, Ishida-san and Chad-kun doesn't know what happened. They kept asking me, or rather Ishida-san, about what happened to you. I'm not allowed to tell, though."

"Inoue, I can bet my toes that Ichigo already has an idea of that. Its rather pointless for you to go here and tell him that, so just go on ahead and tell him why you're here." Renji pointedly told the blushing girl.

Inoue looked at her hands and smiled. "You're right, Abarai-san, actually I just wanted to make sure if Kurosaki-kun was alright."

"Excuse me, but, time's up Inoue-san." All eyes fixed on Hanatarou. "Inoue-san?"

A pair of worried chocolate brown eyes gazed at him.

He sighed. "It's time to go, Inoue."

Renji almost shoved the two of them out of the door, seeing that Orihime was reluctant to and seemed that she still had something to say, and Hanatarou wasn't going to do his job anytime soon. Renji shot him a look of indifference before saying anything.

"Them going back to the living world was decided as the best solution to pacifying the residents of Soul Society. _You've _given them a cause to be frightened. You don't even have to think of the best excuse anymore because no one will be listening, you pathetic idiot."

Renji strode to the door, and stopped to warn him, before finally going out.

"Don't even think of going 50 feet near Rukia."

Silence ruled for a few moments as he opened the door, still wondering the answer to his question before Hanatarou barged in. 'What really is Ichigo for Rukia?' he himself tried to answer that not-so-simple question. He did want Rukia's friendship, but sometimes…he just had to accept that he should keep some of his emotions for himself. He didn't want to fall into a ditch as he had with their friendship some time ago.

But Rukia still had her eyes closed and he felt like shit not being able to do anything. It was like Winter War all over again.

"_Where are you going, Rukia?" Renji, weary and tired, grabbed her hand before she can make a single step. Her large, violet eyes shone with determination as she looked straight back at him._

"_To Ichigo."_

"_No." He didn't even have to think about it._

"_I have to, Renji!"She wrenched her hand from his grasp. "I have to." _

And to have it happen a mere two days ago…

_Renji was first on the scene, having been near the area and he didn't like what he was seeing. Rukia fighting Ichigo, except this time, Ichigo was deathly pale, his shikahushou was white, the inner black, hair the color of a dried-up bone, his eyes black and his irises, he couldn't tell if they were yellow or orange, and most importantly, she shouldn't be fighting Ichigo when he was…He knew Ichigo was a vizard, but, this doesn't look like being a vizard to him. Plus, he've seen Ichigo in that state. _This doesn't look like its right.

_He had shouted her name, and grabbed her at her waist before she could have a chance to answer. The Ichigo standing a few meters away from them was leering at them so ominously, the long white sword (isn't Tensa Zangetsu supposed to be all black?) being turned around and around his finger by its chain. His reaitsu alone surpassed his, he could feel or rather sense that this Ichigo was still even keeping his reaitsu in check._

"_Renji, let me go." _

_He was afraid, of course he was. He had no idea what kind of a monster this person ahead of them was. His grip tightened around her shoulders._

"_Renji. Let. Me. Go."_

"…_.no."_

_He already had his zanpakutou poised in front of them, and a thought that this was somehow similar to the time when Aizen had threatened him to let Rukia go, passed at the back of his head. Then, he felt Rukia's index finger somewhere in the middle of his chest. _

"_W-what?!"_

"_I'm sorry, Renji. Kidou, No. 4, Byakurai."_

He was actually surprised to find that he had suddenly came to a halt at the door. He cocked his head a little, he wasn't sure if the voice that had pulled him out of his reverie was real.

"I…"

His eyes narrowed as he discerned that the voice was Ichigo's, though it didn't sound like him. Ichigo's voice sounded as if it had been torn straight out of his chest. He turned around, he wasn't really angry at him, it was just….just that…

"I…I didn't mean it, Renji." Ichigo, still wan and pale, hunched as he sat on the bed, clutching at the sheet tightly. The light that came in through the single window in the room made Ichigo's hair brighter than it was, a direct contrast to what the two men were really feeling,

Several moments of silence passed as neither men did anything to break it. Renji still stood at the door, eyes filled with worry and sadness, and a little bit of contempt while Ichigo sat on the bed, his back hunched, head hanging as if he deserved every curse that the world has invented in every language.

"I know, Ichigo. It happens."

"That's why I should never have allowed it to happen!" Ichigo gritted through his teeth.

Renji scowled at the image the person in front of him made. Ichigo's face and expression was nearly indiscernible because his hair covered his face partially, and the hands that clutched the sheets were white-knuckled. A very pathetic image.

"Rukia…she…"

"She nearly died? Yeah." Renji strode toward Ichigo again, this time letting nothing hold back his emotions as he grabbed the front of Ichigo's shirt. "And why?! Because of you! Danm you, Kurosaki! How could you even let that happen?!"

Ichigo let himself be lifted almost out of the bed, his hands hanging limp at his sides. Whatever Renji had and will say to him was well deserved. He felt his eyebrows furrow in quiet acceptance as he heard what Renji said next.

"She nearly died, not once, nor twice but many times Kurosaki! Do you remember? How many times she could have given up her life to protect you? Or maybe your family? She's always trying to protect your miserable ass."

He did remember. Since the first time they met, on that night that hollow attacked his family and he first became a shinigami, that cryptic letter telling him not to follow and still he did, he remembered Rukia's teary eyes, the soukyoku, Grimmjow….that ugly espada she told him about….yes, he remembered everything about that.

"I…I also tried to protect her!"

"Well, you failed! You failed big time!" His eyes widened. He had, hadn't he? Almost one mishap after another, like a never-ending cycle. He wasn't the one who heals her after every fight, what have he done really, but bring trouble? Ichigo pursed his lips, and narrowed his eyes, a vain attempt at trying to be indifferent when they both knew otherwise.

"Have you ever thought, Ichigo, of how better, of how safer life would have been for Rukia, if she hadn't met you?"

_If she hadn't met me…_

"….she wouldn't be inflicted with such a life-threatening injury, or be…."

Ichigo closed his eyes forcibly and opened it again as he tried to focus where so much of the pain came from, but he couldn't, just couldn't block out the accusations that Renji flung out to him. What could he have possibly done wrong? He only tried his best to protect his precious people. Surely, it was not all his fault. Not all of his, there was Aizen, the hollows…things he had no control of.

His hand grasped Renji's wrist, abruptly stopping him from saying anything more.

"JUST SHUT UP, RENJI! Just, please, shut up. Do you think I ever wanted everything of that to happen? HUH?! Are you thinking that I told Aizen to take control of everything, and make me his target?! Well?!"

Renji only tightened his hold on Ichigo's shirt. An uncomfortable silence followed his outburst, both man contemplating on what the other has said. Ichigo felt, however, that nothing else would make him feel better than the answer to his question as he blurted it out.

"H-How is Rukia?"

Ichigo heard himself let out a groan as his body fell back upon the bed with much force as Renji intended to when he released his hold. He winced as the pain multiplied.

"Che. Whatever." He heard Renji curse under his breath. Was he leaving without answering his question?

Forcing himself to endure the pain a little bit longer he lifted his body upon his elbow to face Renji's retreating back.

"Tell me. How's Rukia? Renji--"

"What? That you need to know?"

He glanced at him over his shoulder. "No. You don't need to know everything, anything."

Ichigo felt his panic rising, engulfing him like waves as Renji closed the door firmly behind him.

* * *

Review! please...thanks...for reading until this part...

Anyways, just in case some of you readers out there were wondering when Ichigo and Rukia will reunite again (yes, they will smug look) we'll all have to wait, this part of the story will contain about 8-10 chapters if I can fit it all into that, I want to focus this time on Rukia and how she'll be able to hide Yuri from everyone's knowledge for four years (oops! did I just say that...spoiler alert is late).  
There will be no lemon! No! Cause the first and last smex/lime I'll ever do is It Was Too Much and I am still a minor so even if I am a perv sometimes, I'm a complete hypocrite...plus I'm afraid I won't be able to write a nice lemon at the threat of my life. But, yeah, sort of like that. I'll really, really try to update a lot sooner than what I have been doing all this time but reality always catches up on me you know...and other such obsessions.

Thanks. I Love You All.

Don't forget to review.


	16. uncertainties

Again and again…but well, I'm trying to put up longer chapters…hope that's fine…and anyways, I was like waiting for the number

Again and again…but well, I'm trying to put up longer chapters…hope that's fine…and anyways, I was like waiting for the number of reviews to reach 100, but it didn't…so I guess, I just have to post another chapter here… But I'm very happy, very happy, and very, very happy that you are still reading my story… Thanks

**XVI. Uncertainties**

"—saki-kun? Kurosaki Ichigo-kun?"

Ichigo merely lifted his hand as if in annoyance for the roll call. He was now a second year high school student at Karakura. Everything seemed too normal, in fact, it _is_ supposed to be normal. No more slaying of hollows, no more soul burials.

His life as a shinigami had long since ended.

He sighed, laid down his pen beside his notebook, and looked out the window. He doesn't have to listen to the teacher's lecture, he already knew it; he had studied it the night before. These days, the normalcy disturbed him. He was no longer a shinigami, even as a substitute shinigami. He no longer knew where Kon was, he was taken before he returned to the Living World, and he was barred from even meeting Urahara.

It has been three months since he has been at Soul Society and he hasn't even known hat happened to Rukia. It troubled him, too much sometimes.

His seatmate elbowed him , which brought him back to reality and had him realize that his teacher was giving him an ominous glare.

"Kurosaki-san, I believe you are not listening because you know today's lesson, am I right?" The teacher looked deadly serious as he said this.

He did know the lesson. There was a reason why he is in the school's top ten. For a moment as he stood there, he noticed Inoue looking at him worriedly before raising her hand.

The teacher looked at her boredly and ignored her.

"No, I don't sir." He gritted his teeth. He didn't know what came over him for him to lie.

"Ah!" the teacher looked disgustedly delighted, "well, if that's the case, would you mind translating what I have been reading into English? No mistakes, please."

Uryuu raised his hand too. Now, he and Orihime were both raising their hands. Knowing he will only increase his teacher's dislike of him, he got his book and started reading.

(1) "The trucks ground up and away heading out of it all and the peasants plodded along in the ankle deep dust. But the old man sat there without moving. He was too…'

* * *

Later that day, as he was walking home, Ishida accompanied him. They were walking in silence when out of the blue, he asked him if he was alright. Ichigo hesitated.

Was he really alright?

"Of course…" was he? No hollows, no nightly disturbances, no Soul Society in his life… no, it was not okay. It was not fine with him. If he could have done something to change it, he would have.

"Of course, I am! What made you think I was not Ishida?"

Uryuu looked at him, as in really, really, looked a him, his face unreadable and very serious. His scowl deepened.

"Nothing. It's just that you are more pathetic than ever."

"Wha--"

"Don't deny it. You didn't give any respect to the dead. We just passed the ghost of a dead boy."

It took a moment before the meaning of Ishida's words sunk in. they just passed by a what? Before he could think about it, he turned around so fast he nearly crashed into Ishida, fully expecting to see a ghost. He didn't even feel anything.

He saw nothing.

And that made his hairs stand on its ends.

"He's not there anymore, Kurosaki."

Ichigo merely nodded, his mind still in confusion. How come he saw no one? Nothing? It was the first time this had happened to him. Ever since he could remember, he could see the souls of dead persons, he couldn't even distinguish them from normal, living humans when he was still a kid. And now…

"Kurosaki?"

"Hn."

"You didn't really see anything, did you?"

"W-why do you say that?"

"The ghost wasn't a boy's. It was a girl's."

* * *

He came home more troubled than he can ever remember, feeling like something was wrong with him, with everything. He kept himself in his room after eating dinner, looking blankly at the opened book in front of him.

Now and then, he kept scribbling notes on a piece of letter. And thoughts filled his head.

Did Soul Society even exist?

Who is 'Gin'?

Where is 'Las Noches'? He could vaguely remember a bleak, gray place filled with an oppressive mood. Men, big creatures wearing white, holes on the chest, on the stomach. And blood.

Did Ken- (was that really his name? did it end with a patch? An eyepatch?) Ken—(Damn this, I can't remember.)?

Who is Zangetsu? He had a feeling he knew that one. Maybe, if he just concentrate and focus enough, he would remember.

Zangetsu…Zangetsu. Isn't that the name of a sword? His sword?

Yes. Yes, it is. He remembers now.

But, still, why can't he remember some details. He knew (he could remember) a captain wore his hair in spikes with little bells attached, a boy with silver hair (hyourinmaru wasn't it?) , a sickly guy, perverted glasses girl…wait, was there really a 'perverted glasses girl?'.

He pushed himself away from the table.

What is happening to him?

God, this was one of the days he wished she was here…even if he couldn't talk to her, as long as he knew she did exist, then that would mean that everything was true.

How he also longed to hear her voice.

He got the paper and crumpled it. Then slowly unfolded it again, and on the far east side he wrote a single name, slowly and tenderly, relishing the stroke of every letter.

Rukia.

* * *

Okay, guys that's all.

(1)from Old Man at the Bridge by Ernest Hemingway

Now, review!!


	17. chances

Look

Look! An update!!

Aren't you happy?

Cause I am.

**

* * *

****XVII. Chances**

Ichigo was getting used to life. He had to. Acceptance was the only option left to him. There was no use being swept away from the fact that the world he would have to live in was here, with his friends. There was never a choice. You only take what was given to you.

He looked out of his window and gazed at the night sky. He could see stars; Karakura was one of the few cities left that light pollution had not blocked the stars from view. And remembered seeing a thousand stars all at once, when he was still a kid, and his mother had brought him to see his grandparents at the countryside. That was years and years ago, now, his mother was dead, so were his grandparents.

The number of cars passing by lessened, until there was nothing but the quiet stillness of the night. He didn't want to, but it was quite late already so he reluctantly moved to close his window. But at the last moment, a single black butterfly, almost the size of a child's palm, fluttered into his window.

He froze in his place. This sensation seemed far too familiar.

Fearing that he was only imagining it all, and at the same time, hoping he was not, he slowly turned around. He cursed the fact that he had turned his lights off; he couldn't make out the figure standing in the darkness. But he knew who it was. As surely as the day knew night, as the sun knows its moon.

"Hey, Ichigo, why's it so--"

That voice! _Her_ voice. Hearing it once again brought back so many emotions that he had forgotten the past few months. In a flash, he jumped off his bed and wrapped his arms around the small figure of Rukia. Tightly, ever so tightly, he wasn't thinking of anything else; there was nothing to think about.

"Rukia! It's so nice to see you! I was so lost, I felt so--why are you here? How? Did they send you here? You're going to be assigned he--"

"Y-Yo reh suhufythun mkhf umpf."

"What?" Ichigo loosened his grip a little bit to look down at her.

Rukia first drew in a deep breath before answering him. Looking every bit as disgruntled as only she knows how to.

"You were suffocating me…you big lout. Now, let go of me before I kick you where it really hurts."

Ichigo let her go complacently, deliberately ignoring her tone of voice and placed his hands on his waist, barely keeping his enthusiasm in check. He watched her as she walked in his room, knowing every corner as if it was her own, and flipped on the switch.

Light flooded the room and he had to blink twice, he had spent too much time in the dark.

"There, that's better."

He could see her now clearly. She was in her shinigami garb; her zanpakutou (was that it?) in the same place she always kept it. She was still the same as ever, and it was comforting. Her familiarity was comforting.

She sat down on his bed beside him, and they sat there together. Just basking in each other's presence. If they were different persons, being together would not have been enough, but they were Ichigo and Rukia, they knew the stakes, being together would have to be enough, for a night, for a day. It didn't matter. They could talk, or they could sit in silent understanding of each other, knowing each other's needs….

Who would have thought that a chance meeting of one night would change his life forever?

"Where's uncle? Your sisters?"

"They're not here, Yuzu and Karin and Dad went to visit my aunt, they got delayed. Actually, they called hours ago, they won't be back until tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh. That's good. Do you have food in your fridge?" Rukia proceeded out of the door and down the stairs, Ichigo following a few steps back. This was how they were supposed to interact with each other. Nothing more, nothing less.

"So, how are you, Ichigo?" she asked, her head in the fridge. He could hear her rummaging her way through the different containers of food, junkfoods, and left-over somethings.

"I'm…" will he lie? Say he was fine as he had done a hundred times in the past days?

"I don't know." He watched her as she closed the fridge door with a foot, her arms cradling a loaf of bread, strawberry jam, ice cream, and to his amusement, an orange juice box.

"Ichigo, something's troubling you. I can tell." She looked as serious as anyone can get as she dropped off her loot at the table and sat next to him.

He merely lifted his head a little and kept his mouth shut.

"Well then, think about telling me. I'm tired as hell. And God, I do so miss this juice box. Open it for me, will you?" she held the juice box in front of his face.

Grudgingly, he took it and stuck the straw in.

"You don't 'open' a juice box, Rukia, you stick the straw in it." Hearing himself say it made him feel as if that was not the first time he had told her that. When exactly? Or did he ever? But he felt so strongly that indeed he has. So he must have. Why can't he remember?

"Ichigo?" An inquiring voice laced with concern jarred him from his thoughts. Her cool hand was suddenly feeling his forehead. He looked at her, saw her eyes fill with worry and was suddenly overwhelmed with everything he kept bottled up inside of him.

He can't forget Rukia. He can, and would, forget everything, just not Rukia. Not her.

Here she was, in front of him, he would have to remember everything about her. How her violet eyes darkened with worry as she looked at him, how she smelled faintly of strawberry jam, that single lock of hair that fell stubbornly in front of her face and stayed there.

Without a second thought, he closed the gap between them and covered her lips with his. It was more than a chaste kiss. It was a kiss that conveyed to her his yearning for something else between them, for something that she couldn't give, even if she wanted to.

Rukia slowly closed her eyes, and let her hand drop. Throwing her doubts aside, she answered his kiss, it was her first time, of course. And she thought how ironic it all was, she would be returning to Soul Society the day after tomorrow, while he would return to living his life.

To think of it was too saddening, maddening even. As if he had thought of it too, Ichigo released her from his grip.

That single second of feeling as if Ichigo had for the first time, gone so far away left Rukia feeling bereft. A premonition of something she didn't know will happen.

It was Ichigo who spoke. There was no embarrassment, no guilt. They were suffering just from a single kiss, and they didn't even know why.

"Rukia, its really late. If you're finished here then--"

"I am."

Ichigo stared at her, wondering why, in the first place, she had sought to come to the kitchen. He quickly recovered.

"Then, you should go sleep now, let me fix this."

He began to pick up the unopened jam and bread, the already melting ice cream to return them to their right place and left the still-full juice box on the table purposely. Rukia was still nearby.

"Rukia, you go to sleep now. You said you were tired."

"I did?" She, in turn, asked him smugly.

He ignored her.

After hesitating for a few moments, she started to go up the stairs, he could hear her soft footfalls on the floor. Then a loud, "Ichigo, you do have class tomorrow, don't you?"

"No, I don't. it's Sunday, you dope."

"Ah, right."

He smiled to himself, unseen by anyone, he had a vague idea why she asked him that.

* * *

When he was back in his bed, he left the window unopened. There were still questions inside of him that remained unanswered, questions that he hesitated to ask Rukia about. He felt that he had no right to burden her with his problems. But he was torn between the desire to talk it out with Rukia, and to keep it a secret within the dark crevasses of his mind.

He turned on his side, and saw his closet door open just a tiny inch.

"Are you asleep?"

He heard her call out softly.

"No."

"Ah."

Silence. Clouds passed over the moon, taking away its light, only to give it back minutes later. His eyes flew open when he felt a soft body take the vacant place in the bed. It was a comfortable bed for one, but for two….

"Ichigo", her voice was barely a whisper now, "what's happening to you? I could feel it, something's not right. What are you worried about?"

His arm, of its own accord, went about her, but he didn't mind it. He was taking his own sweet time before answering her question.

"Perhaps, Rukia, someday, I will be able to tell you. Can you wait?"

He felt her sigh against him, her warm breath tickling his chest. And it soothed him like nothing ever did.

"Goodnight, Ichigo."

He didn't answer her. He had already fallen into a deep sleep.

* * *

Well, that wasn't how it was supposed to end…but I guess…some stories are just that stubborn…

Review, ne? Onegai!!


End file.
